


My Angel in Hell

by Fearthepowerofwords



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Disability, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-28 12:05:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearthepowerofwords/pseuds/Fearthepowerofwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta has had a disability for his whole life and has never had any friends, everyone would bully him because he was different. But when Peeta moves to a new school he meets a girl with a braid. She becomes his first friend and he never forgets her, they become friends but can Katniss change Peeta's life forever? Will they survive the trauma so they can live happily together? AU short story!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. in the beginning there were two

Peeta POV

Through my entire life I have learnt to fight when all the odds are against me. My life has been one big battle, a battle to walk, a battle to talk and even a battle to write or hold a pen. I was born with Multiple Sclerosis (MS); this effects my muscle and nerve contractions in my body. I am told I have horrible case of MS and on top of my disorder I have a very prominent stutter. I learnt to walk at the age of 5 and learnt to finally talk at the age of 6. When I did finally talk it came out stuttered and gibberish, it feels like my body is a prison, a type of Hell for me. My parents didn't know what to do with me. They took me to the finest doctors they could afford but there was nothing they could do to help me, they only said to be patient and I will slowly learn well that's hearer said than done. My mother's patience lasted all of two days before she would go back to hitting and kicking me for being a big screw up. My brothers have always been there to help me through primary school and they would always help me when I had trouble walk or talking.

I am finally 17 years old and moving to a new school for my final year of school, my brothers have both left home and have moved far away from home and I am stuck here hoping to blend in and finish the rest of my schooling. At my old school I never had any friends because everyone thought I was a freak that randomly had twitching in his legs or jaw. No one ever realised that I was always in pain when this happened and I could never tell people the truth because my stutter would always stop me. I am hoping this new school will give me a chance to start fresh and meet new people who won't judge me because of my disability.

Today is my first day and it takes all my energy to get out of bed. I slowly pull on my beanie which matches my uniform, I always feel secure with a beanie on, and it makes me feel safe. I never go without one and even school allowed me to have it. My legs are particularly bad today and it's painful to walk plus the twitching makes it even harder, I don't want to tell my parents this because I will either get the shit beaten out of me for being such a wimp or I will be forced to stay home but I don't want to miss my first day.

I sling my bag over my shoulder as I hear Dad wish me luck but I know he only pities me, Dad has always helped me through battles and he blames himself for something I was born with. I slowly drag my feet out the front door and start walking to school, it's not far only a couple of blocks away and I think I can handle the walk without too much discomfort. As I walk I take in my surroundings, the trees sway slightly in the breeze, and the birds sing songs that put a small smile on my face. There are people out for morning jogs and I only wish I could run and be free like everyone else. I am a block away from school when I start seeing all the boys and girl that are in the same uniform as me; accept for the girls who wear skirts. This is when my legs start to become excruciatingly painful and I stumble a bit as I lose my balance, this is what I hate about my condition it's so unpredictable. I don't know anyone that I can ask for help, I'm swaying from foot to foot trying not to collapse from the pain when I am met with piercing grey eyes full of worry.

"Hey, are you ok? You look a little tip-"she's cut off from her sentence as she goes and catches me from falling, she is surprisingly strong and she slowly carries me to a bench nearby, my legs completely failing me and I feel so embarrassed. I finally get a good look at my rescuer and see she has a long braid over her shoulder, freckles dot her face and her smile is worth gold. I stare in awe at her as she is stunning and I can't stop looking at her, for a split second I forget all that is wrong with me and just stare at the face of beauty. I nervously adjust my beanie and wait for the twitching in my legs to go, I expect her to walk away as most people do but she continues to look at me with curious eyes and waits.

"It's okay I am not going to hurt you, I just want to make sure you are okay" She says reading my startled and surprised look. "I'm Katniss by the way"

"I-I-I-I'm P-Peeta" I stutter out as I mentally kick myself for how terrible I must look. I meet the eyes of Katniss again and I see she is smiling but not in a judging way more of a cute way. I am surprised when she continues with the conversation

"Nice to meet you Peeta" she says as she extends her hand, I reach my shaky hand out and shake hands with her. She seems to notice the shaking. Shit!

"By the looks of it you're new!" she says brightly winking at me. I feel a blush creep up on me as this is the longest conversation I have had with a school mate. I don't know whether she is talking to me out of pity or if she genuinely wants to talk.

When I don't reply she asks in a gentle tone "Do you mind if I ask why you almost fell over?" and I suddenly get nervous, my jaw starts twitching and I slowly rub it trying to make it stop. She looks at me with patience waiting for my answer. I have never been good with telling people about my illness, they usually just run away from me thinking I'm contagious.

"I-I-I have a-a c-condition" I say speak quietly hoping the people that walk past us don't hear. She still has a smile on her face and I have a feeling she is not going anywhere anytime soon.

"Oh that's a shame, I hope you get better" she almost whispers looking at the ground. I am star struck. Never once in my life has a single human being ever wished I would get better and now I have a stranger say it to me and it over whelms me. I just nod and sadly look down at my shaky hands.

"Come on let's get you to school" Katniss says in a happy tone as she lifts one of my arms over her shoulder and lifts me to standing position. While I stand there I can smell the sweet perfume that comes off her and I take a deep breath, she smells of home. I test my weight on my legs and I find that they are not as painful and she sees this. In one quick movement she lowers my arm from her shoulder and holds my hand. Her hand is small and sweaty in mine as she intertwines our fingers. I look down in amazement at our hands and she giggles.

"It's like you have never seen hands before" she states while giggling. I smile and try to start walking. My legs are weak and I stumble for a moment, Katniss then places her other arm under my own for leverage. As we walk to school I can tell she is deep in thought and I wish I could hear what she was thinking, the way her brow creases and her lip between her teeth makes her look so attractive. I never expected to meet anyone so having someone help me to school is so over whelming that I might just explode.

Once we finally reach school she stops and looks at me as if she wants to say something but doesn't know how to say it. So I speak up and say

"T-t-t-thank you K-Katniss..." I say quietly, she is looking at me calmly waiting for me to continue "F-for helping m-me to s-sc-school and c-c-c-catching m-m-m- ummm ahh..." I choke on my words in frustration and I shut my eyes tight and rake my fingers over my beanie. I calm my breathing as I try to relax and not make a fool of myself, when I reopen them she is still smiling at me and I am confused.

"Just breath, don't rush I am not going anywhere" she says smoothly and she patiently waits my answer. How does she know what to say to a blabbering, stumbling idiot who can't even speak right? I am amazed at how she has so much patience and I'm surprised she doesn't look bored yet.

I nod and slowly take a deep breath in and out as I continue "A-and c-c-catching me b-before I f-face p-planted" after taking her advise I am surprised that I can get reasonable words out and I sigh as I finish the sentence. Katniss smiles at me, proud to have helped. She then looks to the ground with a serious look on her face and I fear I have done something wrong, but then I see she is blushing slightly, why would she blush?

She then seems to gather up all her courage and speaks "I was ahhh... Wondering if maybe you would like to hang out with me?" she asks timidly and I sense her nervousness. I just stare at her in shock as the question slowly sinks in and I don't have words to describe how I feel. Happy? Joyful? Over the moon? I have never had a friend before and this comes as a big shock.

After a few minutes and I say nothing she then says "You know, you don't have to or whatever, It's just I don't have many friends and you seem nice but if you don't thats cool, I'll just leave now" Katniss says this very quickly and I need to respond or I will lose my only potential friend.

As Katniss turns to walk away I grab her arm and say "I w-w-would l-love to b-be y-your f-f-friend" I look at her deep grey eyes and see hope flicker through them and I know this is the best decision I have ever made. Her smile turns into a full ear to ear grin and she jumps up and down excitedly. I laugh and smile at her as she does a cute little dance like a 5 year old. Once Katniss calms down she grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug which I hadn't expected and I nearly over balance. As Katniss loosens her grip on me I want to protest and learn as much as I can about her body, she then moves her lips to my ear and whispers

"We are going to be best friends and I am going to rock your world" I blush at her words and I suddenly have so much hope for the future. I suddenly get a warm feeling inside my stomach as I am happy and privileged that she wants to be my friend. Her words fill me with joy and I sence there is something magical about this girl.

XXXXXXX

School went by quickly as I found out that Katniss is in all of my classes and she nearly hit the roof when she found out, she sits next to me and buzzes with excitement throughout the day. I don't say much during the course of the day but Katniss keeps conversations light and whenever I do talk she makes sure I take deep breaths and go slow. At lunch we sat by ourselves and talked, I have learnt so much about Katniss in the past few hours that I would ever learn about my own parents. I found out that she has a little sister named Prim who is now 12 and got a boyfriend (much to Katniss's disgust), her Dad passed away 5 years ago and her mother shutdown and no longer cares for them, she says these things with great sadness and I wish I could stop the pain she is feeling. I know she used to have a best friend named Gale that went to our school here but he moved countries and they lost touch. Katniss has never been good with people and has little friends at school, she has one close friend who she sits with occasionally, and her name is Delly. Katniss says she can try your patience and is to girly, I smile at this.

Katniss seems to scare people with her enthusiasm and forwardness but I see her as a confident and beautiful young woman. I know that she would never date me but I'm so happy just to have a friend, and a friend she becomes. By the end of the day my legs are painful to walk on and there is a headache seeping through the base of my skull, I don't want to ask Katniss to help me get home because I don't want to seem like an invalid (even though I am).

"K-k-katniss?" I ask as we walk out of school together but I am slow and dragging my feet on the ground, I can't seem to lift them properly and people start to stare at my shaking form. Katniss notices this and takes my arm to steady me on my feet.

"I'll walk you home, just in case you want to face plant again?" she says with a giggle as if reading my mind. I am thankful that she adds the humour as it makes me smile. We begin to walk at a slow pace and I begin to feel my legs buckle again but Katniss only hold onto me tighter never letting me go. We've been walking for a few minutes when some girls and boys from our school come up behind us and give us cringed looks, as if they are disgusted with what I am. Katniss just stares daggers at them, that's when they finally say

"Katniss what are you doing with a cripple, look he can't even walk" one of the guys say as they all start to laugh hysterically, I am used to this but it stings every time. "Don't waste your time on this piece of shit. Is he even human?" another one says and they continue to laugh.

I feel my body go rigid and Katniss stops our walking and just stares at them, I can see hate and disgust in her eyes and I am not sure if it directed at me or them. She then lets go of my arm and I steady myself, but I fear I have driven her away and she is leaving me. What she does next shocks me, Katniss walks up to one of the guys and says "Fuck you, why do you have to get so low as to say things like that" she yells this at him and continues "Go to HELL!" she screams then lefts her arm and slaps the boy across the face with a giant 'SMACK' sound. I stand there in shock as I have never witnessed such a reaction from anyone for me sake. The other boys look in horror as they see his friend with a red mark across his cheek.

They scurry away like rats, running away from Katniss and they leave around the corner with them yelling something incoherent. Katniss turns and walks back to me with anger still in her eyes but walks triumphantly as she has a soft smile playing on her lips, she comes up to my face and take my face in her hands and says "Don't you dare for one second believe them" firmly holding my head making me look at her and I see the worry and sorry in her face, her words are forceful and strong. I envy her strength; I wish that one day I could stand up for myself without stuttering, walk without shaking or limping I envy her ability to be normal. I frown at the thought and look down at my moving hands and sigh sadly, tears stinging my eyes.

Katniss notices my mood and takes my face in her hands again "You have to promise me Peeta that you will never let them bring you down, I will be here for you, don't let them ruin your life!" she says with more passion and desire and I know she is serious. I gather up my courage and reply

"I-I-I-I p-promise" she looks at me smiling then brings her lips to my shaking hands and kisses my knuckles. I am speechless at her action and I just want to feel those lips on every part of my body. I am dizzy from happiness as Katniss continues to walk me home holding my arm to support me. The previous events still reeling in my mind it's almost too much to comprehend, what feels like forever we finally reach my house and I walk up the steps one at a time. Katniss watches me as I do this and she hovers at the bottom step then meets me at the top.

"Can ask you something that could be potentially life changing?" she asks with seriousness in her voice. I nod and she continues. "I know I only met you this morning but it feels like I have known you my whole life, I feel some connection that I just can't shake and well... umm I was wondering if you.." she clenches her lip between her teeth "Maybe you want to become my best friend?" when she asks this she becomes shy and shifts from foot to foot. I stand their leaning on the front door and I nearly fall over by her words. I have never had a friend I my life, so having a best friend would mean heaven and earth to me. A big smile spreads across my face and she takes that as a yes.

Katniss jumps up and down on the spot and squeals then says "Ok now you have to know that the job requires rules. One, NO secrets" as she holds up one finger "you have to be there for me even through PMS you can't let me become an emotional wreck" she smiles and adds a second finger "and finally, stay with me forever" she says this last part as a whisper and I slowly nod thinking about what my future is going to be like with my best friend. Before I register what's happened she has flung herself at me and pulled me into a hug, I stand there no sure where to put my hands and I feel her hands cover mine and bring them to the small of her back. We stand there for a while in each other's arms and I learn the scent of pine tree and vanilla that radiates off her, she finally pulls back and looks at me with a mischievous grin her face as she says

"I have got to teach you how to hug" and with that she turns on her heal and walks away. I watch her until I can no longer see her and I feel my heart drum in my ears. I wish I could freeze this moment forever, I am happy for the first time in years, this has been the best day of my life and all I can think about is a future of happiness with that girl. My best friend.


	2. welcome to pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss witnesses first hand what Peeta's demons are

Peeta POV

The weeks and months went by quickly and I had learnt so much about Katniss that I would never have dreamed of. A few weeks after I became friends with Katniss she had started helping me in any way possible, she only lived a block away from my house so every morning she would drive by my house and pick me up, and would go to school together. She said she never used to drive because it was easier to walk but she drove every morning and afternoon because of me. I felt honoured that she would do that for me and put my comfort before hers. Every day after school we either went to my house or went to hers to hung out, watch movies, do homework and Katniss would help me with my speech. Although I would always have a stutter for the rest of my life, Katniss was still helping me take deep breaths before speaking and only speaking syllables at a time. She helped make me feel more comfortable talking. I still stuttered when I was nervous or when I was around people but I was happy just to talking to Katniss. I wanted to see a smile on her face when I would say a sentence stutter free and that's what motivated me.

It was the midyear holidays and I was excited because I could spend all my time with Katniss, but my legs were being particularly troublesome. During school when my legs would bother me, Katniss would always be there to help before I fell or helped me to class but she never complained. The holidays had made Katniss happy (because we could be free to do what we wanted) and she tended to come over as much as possible (even though my Mother disapproved strongly but dad said it was good for me to have a friend over) and we spent our days talking and taking walks when I felt up to it.

Katniss was coming over and she said she wanted to take me out and get ice cream because of all the warm weather but I had trouble getting out of bed and my legs were having trouble holding me up. They shook and buckled under me when I tried to walk, my whole body twitched as my muscles tried to fight my disease, there were times when I was a baby and the muscles around my heart would contract and therefore caused me to go into cardiac arrest several times. Although I hadn't had them in a long time it was still in the back of my head reminding me that it might happen.

I was disappointed that I had to cancel our ice cream date since I didn't want to disappoint Katniss. Just as I settled myself onto the couch in the living room the door bell rang and I sighed not wanting to get up but luckily Dad called "I'll get it Peet, don't move" I was grateful that dad had been more helpful ever since Katniss had been coming around. He was happy that I had a friend that could take my mind off other things.

A few moments passed and Katniss came strolling in with a smirk on her face, she was wearing high waisted denim shorts with a sea green tank top. I stared at her with awe at how much bare olive skin she was showing but she didn't seem fazed. I continued to sit on the couch as Katniss made her way around the living room and lifted my legs up and rested them on her lap. She smiled at me and I started to rack my brain for a good apology.

I looked sadly down at my legs and began "I-I d-d-don't t-think I c-can w-walk much t-today, s-sorry" I shyly adjusted my beanie and waited for her response. I thought she would have be pissed at me for not being able to do something with her, but I was surprised when I looked up she was still smiling at me.

"Peeta, it's okay your Dad told me, we can just hang here for the day, it's totally cool" she said and then lit up again "Oh and I brought some movies as well" as she said this as she rummaged through her bag and pulled some DVD's, I snatched them off her and read what they were. 'Charlie St Cloud', 'The Notebook' and 'Easy A', I scrunched my nose at the titles, I really didn't want to watch chick flicks all day. Katniss noticed my scolding and crossed her arms over her chest

"Don't be like that, they are great movies that you should watch, just because they are chick flicks doesn't mean you won't enjoy them" she stated and I couldn't help but snort and laugh at her statement. Katniss shoved my shoulders playfully and laughed with me.

Apparently Katniss wasn't joking about watching the movies so I had to choose one, I chose 'Easy A'! Katniss and I made a brief stop into the kitchen to get some popcorn before heading up to my room; it took a while to get up the flight of stairs and I stumbled on some of the stairs but Katniss stayed by my side the entire time. Once we reached my room I lay down on my bed as Katniss set up the movie on my small TV in the corner of my room. We got ourselves settled and shared the popcorn as we watched the movie. It defiantly beat ice-cream.

Once the movie ended I was feeling sleepy as we both sat on my bed in a comfortable silence, I took this chance to look at the perfect skin of Katniss's legs as I trailed my eyes up her leg until I came to her thigh. I had the urge to run my fingers along the skin to see if it was as smooth as it looked, I trailed my eyes up the curves of her hips and her flat stomach. Her tank top had slipped up and I could see a sliver of skin just above her shorts, I came to the swell of her breasts as her chest rose and fell with her breathing. My eyes widened as I raked them over her body that I had come to love. I was then snapped back to reality and noticed I had been caught staring and I quickly averted my eyes to my hands in my lap. I blushed a deep red, I felt it as it moved down my neck but Katniss didn't say anything, she simply remained silent.

A few moments of tense silence passed when Katniss finally spoke up but only came out as a whisper

"Peeta have you ever had a girlfriend?" there was curiosity in her voice but no embarrassment.

I shook my head and blushed further.

"Have you ever kissed anyone before?" this caught my attention and I blushed a deeper red at her words. She waited patiently for my answer; I couldn't seem to choke out words so I just shook my head again. Katniss sighed and turned over so she was facing me, she then took my hands in her own and they felt warm and secure around mine.

"As your best friend I believe it is my duty to make sure you experience everything life has to offer. Including kisses" she said with a smile pulling on her lips and I got the hint of where this was going. "Peeta can I kiss you?" she asked quietly leaning forward.

"Y-y-yes" I answered as a whisper, my heart beat was going wild as I shook with nerves. Katniss took both of my hands that were trembling and ran her thumbs along my knuckles to calm me and I started to relax.

Slowly Katniss moved her face closer to mine and I gulped heavily, I didn't know what to expect when kissing, it was never something I thought about because I had never had a girlfriend and I had other things on my mind. Who would've wanted to kiss me anyway?

Just as that thought came to mind Katniss's lips grazed mine and I sat there shocked. Katniss's lips were soft and gracious over mine and I started to imitate her movement. I closed my eyes and let her lips guide me as I slowly grew more confident I started to move my mouth with hers. She then parted her lips to deepen the kiss and I moulded quickly with her, she tasted of butter popcorn and honey. It was intoxicating. The kiss continued and I loved the feel of her lips on mine, I lay back further on my bed so I rested upon my pillows as Katniss moved one of her legs between mine to get closer to me. I suddenly felt something slide along my bottom lip and I realised it was Katniss's tongue, I instinctively opened my mouth wider. Before I knew what was happening Katniss had forced her tongue into my mouth and I gripped my bed sheets tighter not knowing what to do.

"Try and wrestle your tongue with mine, just relax" Katniss suggested against my lips and I slowly brought my tongue to meet hers, our tongues started working together as I wrestled for dominance but I was inexperienced and Katniss won. After what felt like a life time Katniss pulled away breathing heavily as if she had just run a marathon, her lips were puffy and swollen from kissing and I guessed I look similar to her. I lay there breathless, startled by the events that just occurred and my eyes were still wide with shock.

A few minutes passed and we continued to look at each other as we got our breaths back to normal. I was the first to break the silence

"W-w-wow!" I said as a whisper and Katniss just smiled at me triumphantly and she nodded her head in agreement. I glanced over at the clock and saw it was nearly 7 o'clock and I wondered how the day had gone so quickly.

"D-do you w-w-w-want t-to s-s-stay for d-dinner" I asked cringing at my stuttering. Katniss didn't seem to notice.

"I would love to stay for dinner" she answered brightly and jumped off the bed toward the door.

I shakily walked with Katniss down the stairs but I could feel my leg muscles weakening with every step and my jaw muscles twitched furiously. Katniss noticed my diminished strength. She moved me to the couch in the lounge room and lay me down as I took deep breaths to get my body under control. Katniss walked out of the room and went into the kitchen; I heard the murmurs of Katniss talking to Dad.

A few moments passed before Dad and Katniss walked back into the room and dad looked like he had been baking all day as his hands were covered in flour, he was wearing an apron and there were smudges of chocolate on his face. I smiled when I looked at him and he smiled back knowing I loved it when he cooked, Katniss looked confused as she looked at the two of us as if there was a private joke. I had always been closer with my dad and I tried to stay far away from my Mother, luckily she had gone out of town those couple of weeks so it was just Dad and I.

My legs started to twitch violently and I screwed my eyes shut as I tried not to cry out in pain. The pain crept all though my legs and up my hips. It felt like my legs had slowly turned to fire as every passing minute became more extreme. Katniss saw me in pain and was by my side in an instant holding my hand, it was the worst she had seen of my condition and I was guessing she is scared. Dad sat at the end of the couch and rubbed my feet as he tried to get the twitching to calm.

"What's happening?" Katniss asked in a panicked tone as she clutched my hand with all her might.

"It's okay Katniss" dad soothed "It'll go away soon just stay here while I get some heat packs" he then got up and walked to the kitchen. We found that heating my legs as they painfully twitched tended to calm them or at least reduced the pain. Once dad left Katniss moved to where dad had previously been sitting and started to massage my feet all the way up to my calf muscles and I had my eyes shut, as I gritted my teeth in pain.

A few minutes later Dad came back with some heat packs and lay them tentatively over my legs and I jumped at the sensation. The heat began to settle my legs within a few minutes and my breathing became normal, the slicing pain became a dull throb. I opened my eyes and instantly met with the eyes of Katniss, her grey orbs full of worry. Once she saw me flash a weak smile she threw herself at me as she hugs me, I was confused as to why she was hugging me.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I questioned a little scared by her mood change. She laughed and sat back as she looked in my eyes.

"You scared me, I haven't seen your condition so bad. Please don't do it again" she pleaded. I reached my shaky hands to her and pulled her into a hug (which she taught me how to do) as she rested on my shoulder. I moved my lips to her ear and whispered

"I'll promise to try"

"Promise?"

"Promise" I whispered back

That night Katniss slept over because she was worried about me and thankfully Dad said she could stay or she would've ripped out his eyes until he allowed it. Once I was in my bed with an electric blanket covering my legs, Katniss climbed in with only her underwear and a shirt borrowed from me as she slid in next to me. I turned to my side and Katniss fitted her body with my front as I draped an arm over her stomach, I saw a smile creep on her face. Once we settled down I found I liked having Katniss sleeping with me and just before we drifted off to sleep Katniss said:

"Stay with me"

XXXXXXXXXX

The holidays went by too quickly and school loomed over us again, my MS was troublesome in my legs but not too bad like that day with Katniss. The First day back at school for semester 2 started and it was hard to drag myself from bed. I got to school with Katniss and she smiled at me as we walked to our lockers, the kiss that we shared that day was still on my mind but we still decided to be best friends. One kiss from Katniss was enough to last a life time and Katniss and I were happy in our friendship. We walked through the halls toward our lockers; people started staring at us as Katniss held my arm to help me so I didn't lose my balance.

Through the halls ever pair of eyes were trained on us and I felt like we were drawing unwanted attention. Katniss was good at ignoring those who stared and made rude comments; she was strong and could hold her ground. Every day was the same old routine that we had, Katniss would drive us to school and we would go to our lockers together and grabbed our books for the morning. Since we had all the same classes together she never left my side and I was grateful for that.

That day felt different, although my legs were feeling particularly good it was my insides that felt strange. My stomach was twisted in knots and my chest seemed to be getting tighter and tighter, I tried to ignore the unusual sensation and didn't bother Katniss about it because it was probably nothing.

The day went quickly and was nearing the end of lunch, I hadn't touched my lunch and Katniss noticed something was up.

"Peeta are you okay? You haven't eaten anything?" Katniss was still on edge ever since my bad episode and she used a worried tone and I knew she wouldn't drop it. I didn't try and hind my discomfort from her.

"I-I-I-I d-don't feel w-well" I said looking down at my hands, wanting to disappear.

Just as Katniss was about to respond a gut wrenching scream ripped through my throat as I hunched over in pain, I responded to the pain before it came. Once I curled over and landed on the ground as the pain hit me like a ton of bricks, there was a twisting in my chest as if someone was twisting a knife into it. My stomach heaved but I didn't have anything to bring up as I choked for breath. My lungs felt like they were made of lead and I struggled to breath. I felt Katniss grip my waist from where I was lying on the ground and pulls me between her legs, I automatically leaned my body on hers as she stroked my hair.

I struggled to fill my lungs with air and my mind went fuzzy with lack of oxygen, yet my screams of pain were heard so loud. An invisible force was pushing on my chest and I was on the verge of passing out, white hot pain flashed over my eyes as I tried to stay conscience. In the distance I heard Katniss screaming and crying for help as she tried to calm me but only sobbed on my head, she stroked my hair only to have it stick to my head with sweat.

In the background I heard a siren of the ambulance and I shook uncontrollably scared about leaving Katniss, I needed her by my side. The ambulance officers ripped her away from me and I heard her cry out in protest as someone restrained her; the last thing I registered was Katniss, as she screamed my name over and over as the air rushed back to my lungs.

Katniss POV

He uttered a few words and fell to the floor screaming in pain, even after experiencing a small episode with his legs in the holidays I still had no idea what to do. The People that sat in the outside area stared at us and I yelled for someone to get help as I sat next to Peeta. His body curled up and he screamed in pain, a blood curdling scream, the kind you hear in nightmares. I crawled over to him and grabbed his body and brought it to mine as I tried to calm him and protect him from harm, he curled to my body as he shook and twitched violently and all I could do was hold his body and sooth him. I felt so helpless as I screamed and cried for help, not caring who was looking, 2 weeks previously he promised we wouldn't do this again even though I knew it was out of his control, so there was no way in hell I was about let him slip away from me.

I cried, screamed and kissed his head as I begged him to come back to me, that he would stop crying in pain. I saw him fight to move his chest up and down for breath and his lips started turning blue. I heard the ambulance as I clutched onto Peeta tighter not wanting to let go, they couldn't tear me away from him but I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my body and they moved me back, as they restrained me from Peeta. I punched, kicked and fought with all my might as I tried to get back to Peeta but the person who was restraining me was strong and I presumed it was Finnick. He had always been sweet to me and he was the strongest person I knew that could've restrained me, I knew it was futile fighting him so let my body weight go and Finnick caught me as I sank to the ground.

I watched the paramedics work on Peeta like he was an experiment with tubes and wires went in every direction. I saw them put an oxygen mask on him and saw his chest give a violent heave as he began to breathe again, I relaxed the tinniest bit as I knew he was breathing. He was unconscious and seemed stable enough as people moved away from the scene as they started to load him onto the bed. Finnick still sat with me on the ground with his arms wrapped around me as I cried. When I saw them packed up to go I calmed down enough that I choked out:

"Please Finnick, let me go to him" I sobbed as I twisted to look him in the eyes. He sighed and released his grip on me and I scrambled to standing. Once I reached Peeta he looked pale and ghostly, I looked to the paramedics for answers but they merely shrugged as I followed them toward the ambulance. Peeta was rolled into the back of the ambulance and I jumped in before anyone could protest and I sat next to him and took his big but cold hand within mine and closed my eyes, I wished with all my might that he would be okay.

I didn't notice the trip to the hospital or anything else in between until I sat at Peeta's bed as I clutched his hand, I focused on his hand in mine as I wished for him to return my squeezing. Peeta came into my life so fast that I had to catch him (literally), but he had been the best thing that has happened to me. My life had been hell for many years previous, as I tried to support myself, Prim and our no longer present mother. I never really had any friends during school as people couldn't handle my forwardness and I could be intimidating at times. As soon as I saw Peeta attempting to walk to school I knew he was special and he opened up such a vulnerable part of himself to me that I was drawn to him. Some invisible force kept bringing us together and he seemed like the person who needed someone in his life that could love him unconditionally and I think I was supposed to be that person.

Sitting in that hospital room brought back bad memories of when my Dad was hit by a car, I begged mum to see him one last time before they turned off the life support. The moment I walked into the room I was hit with the overwhelming smell of antiseptic and hand sanitiser. My dad lay in the bed with a fat tube down his throat and plump bruises that distorted his features, his face pale and lifeless as a machine breathed for him. There was a time when birds around our house would stop and listen to him sing and there was so much life in his eyes. Then he lay limply in a bed were his soul was somewhere far away, the knowledge of never seeing him again made my chest tighten, there was so much you wanted to say to them but couldn't bring yourself to say them because they'll never reply 'I love you' back.

I was dragged from my memories when Peeta's Dad walked into the room with a tired look on his face; he had been talking with the doctors for 2 hours as they tried to figure out what had happened. He silently walked over to the other side of the bed and took Peeta's other hand and sighed in exhaustion. A few moments of silence passed and I wanted to know what happened

"What happened to him?" I asked cautiously as it only came out as a whisper

He looked at Peeta's face and I saw him as he fought back tears, "The muscles surrounding his lungs contracted to fast and caused him to stop breathing" he said sadly as he still looked at Peeta, his sleeping face seemed so relaxed as if nothing had happened. I noticed Peeta's mother was absent but apparently she never came to see him when he was in hospital

"But why was he screaming in pain? Wouldn't he have just simply stopped breathing?" I questioned as I tried to piece together the events.

"His Multiple Sclerosis caused the pain, just like it does with his legs" he replied pointing to Peeta's legs.

"Will he be okay?" I whispered looking down at our intertwined fingers, I fought back tears as I tried to stay strong for Peeta's sake. As the question slipped my mouth I suddenly didn't want the answer because I couldn't handle losing another person in my life.

"He's going to be fine, they are keeping him here for a few days then he can come home." He stated sweetly putting me at ease "they have drugged him on sleeping medication so he won't wake till tomorrow" he added.

After he filled me in on the details Mr Mellark (although he wanted me to call him John) tried to convince me to go home and sleep but I refused to leave Peeta, every time I walked out of a hospital room I never saw the person again and I vowed I wouldn't leave Peeta's side. I called my neighbour and asked if they could watch Prim for the night as Peeta's dad brought me dinner. I didn't feel like eating after what I experienced but I ate anyway, everything tasted like paper as it passed my mouth.

John went home and promised to come back early morning and if anything were to happen to call him. I nodded robotically glad I had the night with Peeta to myself (even though he wasn't conscience) and I got comfortable in the plastic chair the hospital provided. It was about midnight and I was sleeping fitfully as I tried to find a comfortable position when I felt something graze my hand, I jumped as I saw Peeta's lazy eyes had opened and his fingers ran along my knuckles. There were no words exchanged as Peeta moved over in the bed and made room for me to fit, I climbed in and pressed my back against his chest as I felt him wrapped his arms securely around me. "Sing to me" Peeta whispered, I didn't know how he found out I could sing but I did this for him.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow A bed of grass, a soft green pillow"

I sung softly and I heard his breathing hitch as I continued, I wasn't self conscience as I sung. Normally I would shy away. I hated singing but in front of Peeta felt so natural, as I continued to sing the steady rise and fall of his chest relaxed me. I felt him as his shaking slowly subsided and we were lulled to sleep by my singing.

Once I stopped singing I felt Peeta's breathing even out and he had fallen back asleep, I was secure and comfortable in Peeta's embrace and I was pulled into sleep as the day's events caught up with me.

XXXXXX

As promised Peeta was discharged from hospital 2 days later and returned home to rest. Since I stayed with him through those days, I never left his side until he came home. I borrowed some of his clothes and used the shower in his room, I slept with him every night. To pass the time we worked on his speech, his stutter had gotten worse after what happened. We played cards and watched movies until we fell asleep out of exhaustion.

Since it was during school time and I had missed 3 days of school and was forced to go back the day after Peeta came home, without Peeta! Once I got home after I left Peeta to rest, I was faced with a very pissed look on Prim's face. Although I had called her every day that I was away and made sure she was fed and attending school she was still angry with me.

She walked up to me with as an angry look contorted her face and I winced, I hated that look on sweet Prim's face.

"Prim I'm SO sorry, I couldn't leave Peeta I was so scared of losing him and I remember what happened with dad and..." my sentence trailed off as Prim's face softened. She pulled me into a tight hug and buried her face in my shoulder,

"I know Katniss I just missed you, I know how much you care about Peeta" she whispered softly back and I was thankful to have Prim when I needed her, she was always strong when I wasn't I couldn't believe how mature she had gotten. "How's he doing?" she asked as she led us to the kitchen for some food. I sat down at the kitchen bench and reached for an apple from the fruit bowl, as I munched on it quietly.

"He's doing okay I guess, still shaken up about what happened" but the truth was, I was more shaken up than him and I never in my life wanted to go through that again. It was the scariest thing I have ever experienced and it was not a feeling I wanted to go through again, since Peeta hadn't had anything this serious happen to him since he was a baby and I was afraid that it wasn't the last we would see of his condition. For now I was happy that he was safe and sound with me and I was planned to keep it that way.

Prim yawned and looked at me with a bored expression which told me she needed to go to bed and so did I. I said good night to Prim and hoped that I got some shut eye for school the next day, when I was changed I realised I still had one of Peeta's shirts and I made a mental note to give it back the next day. On the other hand it smelled like him, fresh bread and honey. It became very comforting over those few days and I decided to keep it, I put the t-shirt and some sleep shorts on as I climbed into bed, and waited for sleep to come.

Sleep didn't come. I tossed and turned all night as I tried to find a comfortable position only I found more uncomfortable positions, I was exhausted from my days spent at the hospital but sleep avoided me. Then it clicked, Peeta wasn't with me. For the past 3 days we had slept together in the same bed and now I missed his body, I missed his warmth and arms around my body. I huffed in frustration pushing back the covers as I gave up on finding sleep, instead I paced my room thinking how I could walk to Peeta's place and slip into his bed. No! That would be creepy and most likely illegal. I fell onto my bed again and just stared at the ceiling.

I must have dozed off sometime in the early morning as my alarm clock went off at 6 o'clock as I groaned and dragged myself to the shower. Once I was showered and ready for school I decided to walk to school because I didn't need to pick up Peeta and I walked peacefully next to Prim, as we talked about the day's events. All that was on my mind was seeing Peeta that afternoon.

The minute I walked into school I knew something was different, there was a group of kids that stood around my locker chatting quietly as if waiting for someone. I shrugged then off thinking they were there for someone else but as I drew closer one of them who I recognised to be Annie saw me and quickly whispered to everyone, once they all saw me their faces lit up. I recognised everyone, Johanna, Finnick, Annie, Marvel, Delly and Rue, I was surprised to see them as I had only briefly talked to handful of them. Finnick walked up to me with a gigantic card in his hands, it read 'get well Peeta' and I gasped in shock. I looked around at the faces that were behind it and I felt my eyes well up with tears, I never knew they even recognised him let alone make a card for Peeta. I was truly touched by what they had done that I ran up to Finnick and gave him a big bear hug. He laughed and spun me around and planting me on the ground again, letting me hug the others.

"How you holding up?" Finnick asked once I have hugged everyone, handing me the card and gave me flowers as well. I shrugged at him not really wanting to discuss how I felt, my emotions were on edge and I tried hard to keep them buried.

Once the day wore on I became happier, I had never been happy at school but knowing people cared for Peeta made my heart swell. A smile was plastered on my face for the remainder day until what I feared happened, the reason I was shy and hated school stood in my path.

Their names were Cato, Glimmer, Clove and fox face. They were the bitches of the school, always made people do things to humiliate them and I hated them with everything I had. A few years back Cato had tried to get with me and he persisted until I spat in his face and ran away. He had learnt his lesson and left me alone after that.

They walked up to me and stared down at me like I was meat by I wasn't fazed by their display of dominance. I had a feeling it wasn't going to turn out well for either of this and I braced myself for the worst.

"How's your little puppy Peeta?" Cato said, sarcasm dripped from his words.

"Shut the Fuck up Cato" I stated. He was trying my patience and I wanted to prove to him that I was strong. Cato didn't look affected by my words but faked heartbreak with a pout.

"Was it you who screamed or him?" he asked as he dug deeper into my emotions, I clenched my fists as I calmed my swelling anger. "Or is that how you sound when he fucks you?" I seethed at him as a smirk crossed his face, I tossed up whether to punch him or walk away. I chose the first option.

Before he had to time to react I stepped forward and connected my knee with his crotch, a deep groan came from him as he fell forward in pain. His friends and people around us gasped at my actions, his friends took a step back as they distanced themselves from me. I smiled down at him triumphantly as Cato got over the initial shock of being kicked in the balls, he tried to play it cool but only humiliated himself more.

"Good luck fucking anyone with that" I pointed to his crotch, "that's what you get for being a dick" I shouted as I got my point across.

I started to walk away as I chuckled to myself at the irony of my statement. I walked until I came to Peeta's house; I took a deep breath as I steadied the adrenalin that coursed through my body. As I replayed the events that occurred I couldn't help but smile, I was proud that I stood up for Peeta and I knew people got the message to never mess with me especially when it was about Peeta. My heart returned to a normal pace I wanted nothing more than curl up and watch a movie with my best friend.


	3. A home at Last

Katniss POV  
8 months later  
“Where’s Peeta?” I inquired to Finnick as I unpacked another box. Finnick shrugged and looks around the empty apartment where Peeta was nowhere in sight.  
Not long after Peeta and I graduated high school we decided we would move in together, we found a small apartment on the first floor so Peeta wouldn’t need to walk up any stairs. It was fairly cheap apartment with 2 bedrooms and a connecting bathroom, it was a newly renovated apartment that also had hand rails in the shower for Peeta.   
It took some convincing to get Peeta to agree to move in with me, he was sceptical about moving and settling into an unknown house. I reassured him that the place I had found was perfect for us, I told him that I would always be there to look after him. After a month of persisting and nagging Peeta finally agreed and I quickly bought the apartment before someone else did. Prim was happy that I was moving out so she could have most of the house to herself, now that she was in her senior years I felt happy knowing she could take care of herself without my help anymore.   
Moving day was an exciting day for everyone, Prim and Rory volunteered to help as well as Finnick, Joanna, Annie and Peeta. I had been hesitant about letting Peeta help with moving because most of the time he could barely hold his own weight but Peeta said he could help unpack, and promised not to lift any boxes. Over the past months Peeta had slowly recovered from his episode, it took 3 weeks to get him walking again and 4 weeks before he could go back to school. Those weeks were lonely although I had Finnick and his friends, they weren’t Peeta. When Peeta finally came back to school he was unsteady and used a walking stick for a while but he hated being dependent on it, so he forced himself to walk without it. He still walks unsteadily but he has improved rapidly and I’m proud of how far he had come.  
“PEETA?” I shouted through the house, looking in every room but he wasn’t there. A few minutes previous he was unpacking his baking utensils in the kitchen, happily talking and laughing at his stupid jokes.  
“PEETA?” Finnick shouted after me, he joins my search for Peeta as my heat starts to beat faster, all the worst scenarios ran through my head and I began to panic. We walked out of the apartment and into the foyer where I heard voices, it was hard to tell if they belonged to Peeta. We rounded the corner and saw a middle aged woman with light brown hair that stuck out in every direction, her back was turned to us and I could see Peeta over her shoulder leaning heavily on the wall. It looked like he was having trouble standing, but he was too polite to leave during a conversation and he still kept a smile on his face. I let out a breath of relief knowing he was safe but his face was screwing up in pain from sanding too long and I needed to move quickly.  
I walked to over the two of them and smiled as I stood next to Peeta.  
“Hey Peeta, there you are! I was looking all over for you” I said sweetly as I looped my arm under his to steady him, he smiled at me gratefully and slid his arm around my shoulders, putting his weight on to me.  
“S-s-sorry, I w-...was just t-talking to W-...Wiress. S-she is our...our n-n-neighbour who l-l-lives two fl-...floors up” he said pointing up at the ceiling. “Sh-...she and her H-husband m-moved h-here a f-...few w-weeks ago” Peeta smiled brightly which put a smile on Wriess’s face. She nodded in conformation to Peeta’s words and I took a proper look at her. She looked older than she probably was, just a bit shorter than me but with a sweet smile, I knew instantly that I liked her!  
She had that ‘crazy cat lady’ look about her but her smile was cute and brightened her face, Peeta seemed to like her so I was happy. We chatted for a few more minutes and she offered us some cookies as a house warming present, she said she would get the cookies and we could meet her husband. We thanked her and I slowly helped Peeta back toward our apartment, once Wiress was out of sight his face fell into one of pain as he lent most of his weight onto me. I figured standing for long period of time and talking was painful and energy draining, Finnick saw me struggle to hold Peeta’s weight and took his other arm so we would share his weight.  
Once inside our apartment we sat Peeta down on the chair he was sitting previous, boxes scattered everywhere but he didn’t recognise anything around him. His face was drained of colour and Finnick looked at me with concern.  
“Peeta, look at me” I said and took his face in my hands so he looked at me. His eyes were watery and tired, his body was shaking like a leaf. I took his hands in mine to try and calm him. “Finnick could you get some water and there are some heat packs in that box” I point to a box behind him “could you heat them up as well please?” Finnick looked slightly nervous about the situation but did as I asked; I pulled another chair up in front of Peeta.  
“Do you need to lie down?” I asked in soothing tone, as I tried to get his shakes under control. He only shook his head but It was clear he was struggling to sit on the chair. “Peeta your bed isn’t set up yet, and the couch hasn’t arrived either.” I sighed trying to figure out where he could sleep. “You can sleep on my bed, it’s just the mattress but it’s better than nothing” I smiled trying to lighten Peeta’s mood but he was in too much pain to respond.  
Finnick came back and helped me move Peeta to my room, by this point Peeta had almost passed out and he collapsed on the bed with a painful grunt. I searched though some boxes and found some blankets and covered Peeta with them, Finnick set the water next to the bed placed the heat packs on his legs which was rewarded with a sigh of relief from Peeta. Once we got Peeta comfortable he was already drifting off to sleep and we quietly walked out of the room, I gave Finnick a reassuring smile as walked back there where the others were helping get furniture into the apartment, it looked like the truck had arrived.  
Before I put any furniture in place I took a good look around the apartment, when you walked through the front door there is a small hall way on the left which had a small table and coat rack. Right of the door opens up into a living room which was fairly big and had a big window and window seat that overlooked the road. Straight ahead from the front door was the kitchen which was a big kitchen compared to the size of the apartment, a ‘U’ shaped bench wrapped around and an island bench created enough space for cooking and eating. Directly behind the living room was a small corridor which lead to our bedrooms and bathroom, Peeta chose the room at the end of the hallway and my room was a few metres before his. In between our rooms was the bathroom which connected to our bedrooms and we didn’t mind sharing a bathroom.  
All the walls in the house had been painted white, we had planned to pick out some paint and paint some feature walls after we were settled in. The day was hot and sticky, people moving in and out that it just became a blur.  
The rest of the day was spent rearranging furniture and emptying boxes. Finnick and Jo had a huge fight on where the TV should go, I rolled my eyes not caring where it went. They eventually settled on having the TV up against the wall which was the original place we put it, and then came the argument over the lounges. By seven o’clock everyone was exhausted from moving, Peeta made an appearance at five o’clock looking better than he did before. He had more colour in his cheeks and was less shaky, he continued to help unpack boxes for another two hours and we managed to get most boxes unpacked but there were still many to go.  
By seven I called it quits for the day and told everyone to take a rest, everyone came crawling into the lounge room with sweat dripping off their bodies. Peeta and myself where already situated on the lounge when everyone came in groaning and complaining about their sore muscles. Finnick sat next to me with his t-shirt drench in sweat but he still seemed looked beautiful as ever. Since Peeta’s episode Finnick and I had become closer. Although I thought he was stunning we never had romantic feelings we were close friends and I loved that he was supportive especially about Peeta, he always treated Peeta as an equal. Finnick looked over at me with a hundred watt smile and I crinkled my nose.  
“Finnick you smell like shit” I exclaimed and I held my nose. Everyone around me laughed when Finnick wraps his arms around me and forced me toward his body. I struggled and squirmed as they continued to laugh but soon I was laughing with them.  
“I know you love it” Finnick whispers and I blushed, I elbowed him in the ribs and moved over toward Peeta until I was sitting on his lap. He smiled up at me and wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling his face into my neck shyly. I started to laugh when his stubble began to rub against my neck and he laughed at how ticklish I was.  
I got up from Peeta’s lap and straightened myself as my stomach growled; I guessed everyone else was just as hungry as I was.   
“Who wants dinner? My treat?” I shout, this gets people’s attention and they all poked there head in my direction wanting to know what they could eat. “Our choices are pizza, Chinese or Japanese food?” I said as I walked back into the lounge room with the menus of takeaway places, there were a few murmurs of preference but I noticed that people were falling asleep. Prim and Rory were lying on the floor side by side and had fallen asleep, as much as I loved prim and how cute they looked I was hungry so I picked up a pillow and threw it at their direction. It startled them awake and Prim blushed hard knowing they’d been caught, everyone fell into a fit a giggles and laughs. Everyone seemed more awake so we decided on Chinese for dinner, Finnick was the only one that wanted pizza and he complained the whole time.  
The night went quickly; once the food arrived we dug in stuffing our faces until our bellies were full. Laughing and telling funning stories all night until everyone started to fall asleep again so I told everyone on to go home. I thanked them all for their help and sent them home, Finnick and Annie gave us a door mat before they left as a house warming present. The rest gave us money to help with buying furniture and useful things around the house. Once everyone was gone the place became quiet for the first time that day and I sighed heavily knowing the hard part was over. I walked back into the lounge room to find Peeta asleep on our black leather couch, surrounded by Chinese boxes and chopsticks. I smirked at how young Peeta looked when he slept, when his face isn’t full of pain he was breathtakingly beautiful. I felt bad for waking him up but I didn’t want him sleeping on the couch because we made sure his bed and bedroom furniture was set up so he didn’t have trouble during that night.  
“Peeta? Wake up, it’s time to go to bed” I said gently shaking his shoulder, he opened his eyes tiredly; his blue orbs searched my eyes before a small smile played on his lips.   
“W-w-where’re h-...home?” Peeta asked with his voice laced with joy. My smile spread across my entire face as happiness coursed through me.  
“Yeh where’re home! Come lets go to bed, it’s been an exhausting day and we deserve some rest” I told him as I pulled him from the couch. Once he got steady on his feet I took his hand and started to walk to our rooms but I only got a few steps forward before Peeta yanked my arm back, I was about to ask what he was doing but I didn’t get time as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off my feet. Shock over took me as he lifted me with ease and spun us around, his head leaning on my chest listening to my heart beat. I started to laugh and giggle as he spun us around making us both dizzy but neither of us cared because we were both happy to be in each other’s company, my hands buried in his soft hair as his arms tightened around my waist and brought one arm just under my butt, it wasn’t sexual but I felt more connect with him and I loved it. I wondered how he found the strength to lift me up as normally he couldn’t hold his own weight but in that moment I didn’t care because I was with him and that’s all that mattered.  
He finally put me down on my feet as we both grinned at each other, not saying a word we just looked at each other. We stood so close that I felt his chest rise and fall and his heart beat under my hand, his hands were planted on my hips, rubbing small circles with his thumbs. The moment became intense and heated as we looked in each other’s eyes, Peeta leant closer to me and I thought he was going to kiss me but he placed him lips on my forehead and I snuggled closer to him.  
“W-w-w-welcome h-home” he said in a dreamy voice. I looked up at him as he yawned and I knew we needed to rest. Without another word I led Peeta down the hall to where our rooms where and said good night to him. He pulled me into another hug and we embraced for a long while, eventually Peeta’s legs became weak and I helped him into bed. Once in my sleep shorts and tank top I climbed into my newly made bed and curled up as I pulled the blankets up to my chin. Exhaustion began to take over and I slowly drifted into dreamless sleep.

Peeta POV  
Moving in with Katniss was the best decision I ever made, I was nervous about leaving home so soon after finishing school. I had always been dependant on my Dad to help with all my medication and routine but Katniss always kept reassuring me that she would take care of me. After talking with Dad he thought it was a good idea to move in with her and he said she took better care of me than my own mother. I hated moving house and I felt useless about not being able to help but Finnick and the others seem to have it under control, I hadn’t been so quick to warm up to Finnick but after I heard about what he did for Katniss when I was sick I couldn’t hold anything against him.  
The first night we slept in our new house was the best night, I didn’t know where I got the strength to pick Katniss up but I was happiest person in the world because I loved Katniss Everdeen. She was my best friend and I couldn’t have asked for anything more.  
The days flew by quickly as we got settled into our new home; we painted a few feature walls to brighten the house up. Katniss painted her feature wall forest green which was her favourite colour, the wall I painted was my favourite colour: sunset orange. The day we painted was fun, after the walls were painted Katniss ‘accidently’ spilt paint on me and that turned into a full on paint fight. That ended in Katniss and I covered in orange and green paint while lying on the floor laughing.  
We slowly got into a routine every day, since we were both taking a gap year before we started university we had a lot of spare time on our hands. Every morning Katniss would help me out of bed because my legs were always bad in the mornings, she never complained about helping and was always cheerful when greeting me, even when I wasn’t, on a few occasions I would snap at her that I was fine but she wouldn’t take no for an answer because she knew I wasn’t. I would make breakfast because Katniss couldn’t cook to save her life and thankfully I learnt a thing or two from Dad. We would go for walks when I was feeling up to it, go shopping and just lounging around the apartment. On days when my MS was particularly bad Katniss would stay with me on the couch and keep my legs warm while we watched movies, eating popcorn and talking.   
One night when my legs were being painful and I couldn’t concentrate on the movie, Katniss noticed my pain and started rubbing my feet and calves as I screwed my eyes shut with pain, the movie completely forgotten. Katniss always tried to make me comfortable but some days she can’t do anything but sit with me, one night while trying not to think about the pain Katniss opened up to me.  
“Ask me a question” Katniss said while rubbing tiny circles on my feet, I opened my eyes and looked at her in confusion. I looked in her eyes that had become as familiar as mine, always gentle and caring especially when she’s smiles.  
“w-w-what k-kind of q-qu-…question?” I stuttered not knowing what to ask her.  
“anything you want to know about me” she answered  
“H-h-how did your...your d-dad d-die?” I asked cautiously   
Her face fell slightly but she seemed at peace to talk about her farther in a happy manner.  
“He was a builder, always on roofs and high ladders, he thought he was invincible. He never thought anything bad would happen to him. One day the weather was rough and he was determined to stay on the roof, I was on the ground holding the ladder for when he needed to come down. I kept shouting for him to get off the roof as it started raining but he wouldn’t listen. As he started making his way back to the ladder he slipped and fell off the roof, it was a 10 metre drop. I saw the whole thing, he hit the ground with a horrible cry. He was still breathing but unconscious. There was so much blood and I stood frozen in shock.”  
She took a deep breath to recover herself but still she kept talking “by the time the ambulance got there he wasn’t breathing and his heart had stopped beating, I tried everything I could but it was too late. He went to hospital and was put on life support but there was nothing the doctors could do, he had four broken ribs, a damaged spine and water on the brain, so we had to make the difficult decision to turn his life support off. I thought his death was my fault I didn’t want to kill him and take away his life. I blamed myself for everything but I realised it was his time to go and I needed to let him go. ” Katniss concluded as one tear escaped from her eyes and I brushed it away, wanting nothing more than to comfort her. She smiled at me telling me that she was okay and I believed that. The rest of the night she snuggled up next to me and surprisingly the pain had dulled while Katniss was talking and I felt warm and fuzzy knowing Katniss distracted me with her heartfelt confession. I couldn’t imagine the pain she would have gone through, to have to courage to end her father’s life.  
Later that night the apartment was dead silent, I was nestled in bed as tried to find sleep that wouldn’t come. Suddenly I heard a soft whimper, I almost didn’t hear it but I kept still until I heard it again. The second time was louder than the first and I wasn’t sure if the whimpers were out of pain or pleasure, but they became more frequent and louder each time. The apartment was no longer quiet and I started to get scared but the noises were coming from Katniss’s room, after a few minutes of whimpering Katniss started screaming my name. I shot out of bed as fast as my legs would allow me, falling and tumbling over my own legs, only in my blue boxes I walked through our connecting bathroom to her room. At first I didn’t see her under all the pillows and blankets, and then I saw her body thrash as she screamed my name.  
I slowly made my way over to her bed and said her name but she didn’t respond only whimpered and cried my name more, I sat on her bed and gently took her shoulders and shook lightly. I was shaking with fear and as I tried to wake Katniss. Her stormy grey eyes opened with fear, tears streaming down her face, her breathing laboured. She was covered in sweat which made her hair stick to her face.  
“Peeta?” she whimpered   
“Y-yeh I’m h-here” I said as I pushed her hair off her face. Her eyes were wide with fear as if she couldn’t believe I exsisted.  
“Am I still dreaming?” she asked curling her knees up to her chest and rocking back and forth  
“N-no, this is r-r-real” I said in a quiet voice. Katniss started to cry into her knees, rocking herself like a scared child. I moved under the blankets beside her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and rocked with her, as soon as my arms closed around her body she curled into me. Her body shook with sobs and I only tightened my grip on her body, after a few minutes she moved and straddled my lap and buried her face in my neck. We stayed like that for a long while but eventually Katniss calmed down enough and you could only here her sniff, her breathing became normal but neither of us made a move to separate.  
“Shhh…” I whispered in her eyes as she slowly calmed her body  
Katniss pulled back to looked into my eyes and that’s when I realised Katniss was naked on my lap, my cock twitched at the sight of her body but she didn’t really mind my looking. She looked through red eyes and wiped her cheeks clean and took a few deep breaths.  
“Thank you” she whispered  
“F-f-for w-what?” I asked confused why she was thanking me. She gave a small chuckle and smiled slightly.  
“for holding me and comforting me when I need you” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
“W-why w-..were you c-...calling my n-name?” I asked and frowned at my stuttering. Katniss just stared at me.  
“It was you who died on the roof not my Dad” she explained and I saw fresh tears fall down her face. There was not much light in the room but the moon light was filtering through her window and it made her naked body glow. She was still straddling my lap, my erection slowly growing which I was shocked by because I had always had problems getting hard and now Katniss made me hard just by looking at her. Katniss put her head on my shoulder and said three simple words. “Stay with me”  
There were no other words exchanged as she climbed off my lap and lay beside me, I pulled the blankets over us and snuggled next to Katniss. Her back pressed against my chest and her bottom was poking my erection as I moaned softly as she shifted over it. It was going to be long night with a hard on.  
The next morning I woke to Katniss curled at my side, her legs twisted in my own. Her naked body warmed my shivering form, I tried to calm my shakes so I didn’t wake Katniss but they were out of my control. Katniss stirred next to me and a second later I saw her beautiful grey eyes meet mine, her face sleepy and surprisingly happy.  
“Good morning” she states as she stretches the aches from her body.  
“M-m-morning” I responded as I tried to work the feeling back into my leg. In that moment I noticed Katniss’s body as the sheet fell away, and I noticed the swell of her breasts were the same colour as the rest of her body and her pink nipples stood to attention. I gulped as I tried to hide my erection I had all night, although I was sure Katniss could feel it poking into her back but she didn’t say anything.  
Katniss turned her head toward me and caught me staring but only smiled then turned fully so I could see all of her. She saw my eyes bulge and I looked away with a heavy blush covering my face and neck, my boxers tented and I tried to keep the sheet around my waist but Katniss had already seen.  
“I researched your condition a while ago, it said some people have trouble having erections, is that true?” Katniss asked in a seductive voice. I tried to form words but none came, I nodded my head. “Is that the case with you?” she asked inching closer to where I was sitting on the bed. Again I nodded and I began to get nervous about where she was taking this conversation. She crawled up so her face was next to mine, I could smell her sweet scent and I inhaled deeply. He face was so close to mine I could’ve kissed her,   
“Then we better no waste the opportunity while it’s here” she whispered in my ear, a shiver ran through me at her words, before I could comprehend what she said she had moved the sheet away from my lap and grabbed hold of my length through me boxes.  
I gasped at the sudden contact, no one had ever touched me. I hadn’t even touched myself because I had only had a couple of erection in the past and they didn’t last long enough to finish. The pleasure of having Katniss holding my hardness was incredible as I shut my eyes tightly, she moved her palm slowly up and down and I moaned in pleasure. Then Katniss pulled the waistband of my boxes down and freed it from the cotton restraint, I sighed in relief as the cool air hit it. Katniss wrapped her hand around the base of my cock and slowly started pumping as I became fully erect, she passed her thumb over the tip which made my hips buck into her hand as she sets a steady pace. I opened my eyes to find Katniss smiling down at me while still stroking me, I lay further down on the pillows as the room fills with moans and gasps coming from my throat.   
A few moments passed and I started to feel a tightening in my stomach and balls, I felt something warm and wet glide over my cock, I realised it was Katniss’s mouth and she started to suck me. I groaned even louder as she sucks and licked from base to tip, where pre cum has started to coming out. Katniss’s pace quickened and I knew I was close to the edge, when Katniss squeezed my balls I couldn’t hold it in and I exploded.  
“Ahhhhh” I opened my eyes just as it happened, at the last minute Katniss pulled away and I spurted hot, white cum over my stomach and Katniss’s hand. The aftershocks from my orgasm were milked by Katniss’s hand and my breathing became normal again, my mouth hung open in shock.  
“T-t-th-...that w-w-...“ I tried to speak but my stutter was preventing me. Katniss soothed me and told me to take my time. “T-t-that w-w-was amazing” I breathed which only made Katniss smile bigger.  
“You never had an orgasm before?” she asked  
I shook my head “I have h-h-had o-only a f—f...few er-er-erections, b-b-but they d-d-didn’t last long” I explained and she was shocked to find out that I never touched myself.  
The rest of the day was spent telling stories and laughing at jokes, Katniss bragged about what she did for me and I seemed happy that she brought me something without judgment and I loved her for that.  
Not many people can say that their best friend have given them what Katniss had given me, Katniss has helped me heal and grow and I never thought that I would meet someone like her. She had always been there for me and I would always be there for her, she had attached herself to my heart and I don’t think I could’ve copped the scary world without her and she had become my world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr: everlark-destiel-forever


	4. And then there was three

Katniss POV  
The weeks and months flew by quickly, the warmer weather slowly disappeared and the colder weather rolled in. Our lives became a flow of routine as we settled in our apartment, the constant shuffle through our lives became peaceful and Peeta became more relaxed and his condition had started to improve. The long days of working plus studying would put both of us on edge and we would have our bad days but we still managed to smile at each other and push through our emotions. 

Peeta’s Dad would drop by for dinner once a week to check we were going alright. He would always come bearing gifts ranging from apples pies to cinnamon rolls, but my favourite was the cheese buns he brought fresh. Peeta would always tease me about loving his Dad more than him because I would devour so many, he came to check that Peeta was taking his medication but I suspected it was because he was lonely without Peeta.

A year flew by us and Christmas was quickly approaching, the weather getting colder and my final exams creeping up on me. Peeta had finished his Uni course for the year and relaxed around the house as I focused on my studies, he would bring me tea or hot chocolates when I would spend more than 6 hours in my room. Although Peeta’s condition was a little better it still had its scares, the pins and needles in his legs became more intense over time and I would constantly wake to him screaming and whimpering in his sleep. Upon walking into his room I would find his fragile body curled up in a ball, shivering and twitching, sweat drenching the sheets and his clothes.

Most nights I would wake him gently so he wouldn’t be startled and I would carry him to our shared our bathroom. I would then gently peel his sleep clothes from his body and remove mine as well; I would turn the shower onto the warmest setting without burning him and climb in first. With Peeta still half asleep I would have him hold the handrail for support while I washed his body from head to toe, being gentle with his legs but the hot water would calm his violent nerves and relax the rest of his body.  
Once clean and dry I would change the sheets and turn on his electric blanket so he would be comfortable for the rest of the night. This process would be repeated 4 times a week if I was lucky, but he would always tell me how grateful he was and would bake a treat for me when I got home from work.

Many people from work and university would ask why I bothered, why I put so much effort into making sure Peeta was comfortable? They judged me for trying to save him. Everyone knew that people with MS don’t live as long as many but I hadn’t lost hope that maybe he could live a long and happy life without pain, it made my heart ache to think people have already given up on him when his life had only just started.

About a week before Christmas I had finished all my exams and finally got the chance to relax with Peeta, it was nice to sit on the couch and listen to Christmas carols while talking adamantly about who was a better actor, Jensen Ackles or Chris Hemsworth. 

“No! Jensen is so much better! His crying is real and he has a bigger fan base than Chris!” I said adamantly with wide gestures which Peeta just chuckled at.

“J-jensen is a-- pussy t-that’s in l-love with an angel!! Chris is c-convincing and has -- power!” Peeta countered to me but I wasn’t going to give up the fight.

“He is not a pussy! He’s—“ I was cut short when the doorbell rang. I looked quizzically over at Peeta who shrugged and looked just as confused as I did. We weren’t excepting anyone and it was pretty late at night, I wondered over to the door and carefully opened the door.

The confusion and surprise rolled off me in waves, standing at the threshold of my door was a tall dark head man who wore a goofy grin that was all too familiar. The bulk of his body took up most of the door way as I continued to stare in disbelief without making any noise. The memories of years ago came flooding back, spending everyday in the meadow with the sun beating onto our skin, the first time he came to my house and we watched Star Trek together.

The day he came to my house wet and soaking, his usually happy and carefree expression was sour with anger. He told me he was leaving forever, that I should forget him and never follow him. The day he broke my heart by leaving and not telling where he was going, when he told me to forget my best friend and to not cry like a baby. I was mentally pushed back by flood of emotion and memories that crashed over my mind; I continued to stare at him as anger, relief, sadness, happiness and hate washed over me. 

“Hey Katnip” that’s all he said. As if the years we were friends meant nothing to him, as if he didn’t leave me to pick up the pieces of our broken friendship. The smug smile he wore made my blood boil and I wanted to wipe it off his face.

That’s what I did.

I lifted my hand and struck his face with as much anger as I could muster, the sound of the smack was carried through the quiet apartment, and he clutched his cheek with his hands. The smile was gone in a flash as horror took its place, with this one action he felt all the pain I felt when he left. Now that he was standing In front of me he could see what I was put through and it wasn’t something I was going to forget any time soon.

“Please Katniss, I’m sorry! I can explain everything but I just came by to let you know that I was back in town” his face fell with sorrow and he looked under his lashes apologetically, I sighed and opened my mouth to respond but I was cut short.

“Katniss?” Peeta clutched the wall behind me with white knuckles as he shuffled toward me, putting most of his weight on the wall. Upon instinct I reached toward Peeta so he could lean his weight on me, it was late at night and he was tired so I knew I wasn’t going to hold his weight for long. Peeta looked toward the door way and froze, both men looking at each other and jealousy rolling off them. I sighed heavily at how predictable men were, Peeta’s hands tighten on my shoulder and flinched as he put more weight on me, I had about 2 minutes before Peeta could no longer stand and having him at our doorway was making it difficult.

“Who’s this?” he spat at me, pointing at Peeta. I gritted my teeth together and gave him cold, warning eyes.

“This is Peeta” I stated proudly as I threw a wink at Peeta. “We live together. It’s late and I want to go to sleep so good night” a quick and easy way to get him off our doorstep. He looked at me with surprise and I just smiled at him.

“Right... well I’ll see you around, I’m staying with Rory and Prim if you want to come talk to me like a civilised human being” he gave Peeta quick nod before turning and leaving. I closed the door with a loud bang and Peeta flinched beside me, as soon as the door was closed Peeta’s leg gave out from underneath him. I caught as much weight as I could so his fall would be softer, with a heavy grunt he sagged against the wall, his eyes already half shutting.

“W-who was th—that?” he asked quietly as I joined him on the floor, he lifted his arm so I could snuggle under his embrace, a few moments passed before I replied one word that he would understand.

“Gale”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The days following were tough, Peeta’s condition went downhill and he got very sick. Having MS is hard enough but when got a cold or the flu it would affect him more severely, winter had set in and I struggled to keep the house warm and comfortable for Peeta. On the third day of Peeta’s illness, his fever hadn’t broken and his Legs were being excruciating to the point of him screaming out all day (I think the neighbours thought I was murdering him). We had ran out of food and I had to get more medication for Peeta but I couldn’t leave him alone, earlier that morning I called his Dad and told him that he was really sick and Christmas was only days away which I hadn’t been preparing for.

Around late morning Peeta’s Dad arrived with ingredients for soup and an old heater to place in Peeta’s room, he welcomed me warmly and we went to check on Peeta together. He opened the door quietly and walked in, we could hear the small whimpers and sniffles from under all the blankets that covered Peeta’s body.

“Peeta your Dads here to see you” although I knew he wasn’t sleeping I didn’t want to raise my voice. I got a heavy cough in return which I winced at, hearing Peeta in so much pain is draining and I had the strong urge to curl up in a ball and hide.  
Peeta’s Dad took tentative steps toward the bed and gently sat on the edge while looking sadly at the bundle of blankets.  
“Peet come out of the blankets so I can see you” no response.

“Come on Peeta I know you’re not feeling well but we need to make sure you’re not dead” a small chuckle come from underneath and he slowly pulls the blankets over his head. He winces as the small amount of light hits his eyes and he decides to keep them closed, his face was pale and ghostly. A sheen layer of sweat covered his features and his eyes were red rimmed from crying in pain, bags sit under his eyes and his body started shivering violently under the blankets. Peeta’s Dad looked over at me with grief stricken eyes but when he saw my frightened expression he made his face devoid of emotion and got to work.   
He set up the heater in the corner of the room while I re-heated his hot water bottles, Peeta resumed his position under the blankets and quietly cried in pain. It broke my heart every time I hear a sound from him. Once the room was warmer and Peeta finally slipped into an unconscious state I told Peeta’s Dad I needed to buy some food and medicine, he said he would look after Peeta while I was gone and I was grateful for his kindness.

Once I had my boots and snow jacket zipped up to my chin I walked out of the building and started my slow walk to the shops. We had never needed a car as school was within walking distance of our apartment and the shops weren’t that far either, but winter had settled in and walking in the snow was harder. 20 minutes late I arrived at the shops, the smells of cafes and restaurants was tempting but I knew I had to get back to Peeta as soon as possible, I didn’t like being alone at the shops. Peeta always managed to come with me as he was the main cook in our house and he knew what ingredients to buy, he was also great company even though people stared at us as if we had three heads but I was proud that Peeta made the effort to get out of the house.

The shopping aisles were deserted as the temperature dropped but I trudged through the aisles of food trying to find simple ingredients that Peeta would’ve been able to find in a instant. After spending half an hour trying to find the tomatoes I was ready to pay and head home, the basket wasn’t very full, a few vegetables and pasta that I chose to cook that night. That’s as far as Peeta had taught me or trusted me with, many of my attempts with cooking ended up with me and a fire extinguisher.

Once going through the checkout and paying for my items I started the cold and long walk home, the tip of my nose had become numb by the time I got to the end of the block. Wearing ear muffs makes it a little hard to hear things but the voice behind me became very clear, I spun around so fast my braid hit the person in the face.

“God damnit stop doing that!” Gale hissed as he held his hand to his face, my eyes went wide when I realised who I had hit. I would’ve turned around and walked away back to Peeta but out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of flowers. As soon as Gale caught me staring at them he held them out to me, a shy smile creeping onto his face and a faint blush of embarrassment over his cheeks. I was suddenly reminded of a 10 year old boy who stood at my door holding a single daffodil the day after we met.

Guilt washed over me and a small smile played upon my lips as I slowly accepted the flowers. I figured I could give Gale a chance to explain himself as I may have acted too quickly.

“I Just want to... you know say I’m sorry for kind of everything. I came unannounced and I should have known, you hate surprises.” His smile became sheepish and I looked down at my feet as a fresh wave guilt came over me, he shouldn’t be apologising to me, I should be to him.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry about, I was tired and I guess we didn’t end on the best of terms. It was a surprise to see you and I shouldn’t have snapped at you and slammed the door in your face”

“It’s okay, the slap on the other hand was unnecessary.” He gave me a lopsided grin that I couldn’t help but chuckle at. There was a moment of silence where we smiled at each other like we used to, there was suddenly a pang of sorrow in my chest as I realised that I had missed Gale and how easy our relationship was. I loved my relationship with Peeta but everything became so easy with Gale around.

“So... do you want to grab a coffee and catch up on the past 3 years we have missed?” hope flashed over his features and I almost said yes. Then the image of Peeta in Bed, withering in pain became a horrible reality.

“I’m sorry Gale, now is not really a good time. Peeta is very sick and I have to get his medication to him as soon as possible. I really wish I could but he doesn’t cope very well without me” at the mention of Peeta’s name Gale’s features turn dark and he didn’t meet my eyes. I could sense the unspoken question hanging in the air.

Then he asked it.

“So he’s your boyfriend” I saw he couldn’t stop the bitterness the came with the comment, his hands were balled into fists and I had the sudden urge to slap him again.

“No gale. He isn’t my boyfriend but we are very close, and I think he could be ‘the one’, but I don’t know okay? Do be so jealous because I’m not looking for that kind of thing at the moment” I forced out as I tried to keep my voice even.

“What do you mean he’s ‘the one’? You aren’t dating so why are you with him? I’m pretty sure he’s a big boy and can walk and shower on his own!” in that moment Gale had no idea what he had just said but it had struck a string inside me and I felt pure rage race through me.

“ACTUALLY no he can’t! If you would just stop and listen I would tell you! Peeta has a condition called MS or Multiple Sclerosis, he has trouble walking and he’s in constant pain 24/7. He has the flu at the moment and makes his condition almost unbearable, the muscles around his heart can seize at any moment and he could die at any moment! He almost did a year ago and it was the scariest moment of my life and I promised him and myself that I would never leave him.” Only then did I realise that I was shouting in the middle of the street and tears poring over my cheeks.

The expression on Gale’s face was almost too painful to look at, sorrow, grief and guilt was written over his face. I took a shaky breath and wiped the tears from my face before they froze, the wind picked up and I shivered, all I could think about was getting home as fast as I could.

“Fuck Katniss I’m so sorry, I’m such a dick and I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. What you’re doing is an amazing thing and I admire that about you, please don’t hate me I just want to catch up with my old friend” his hands came up to grip my shoulders so I looked him in the eyes, I knew he was being sincere and I gave him a weak smile but it quickly went away.

I watched as his chest expanded and then slowly deflate, the warm air hitting my face.

“Look, Peeta is going to be in bed for the next few days so why don’t you come and have something warm to eat and drink” my voice came out more softer and calmer than I expected.

“Sure, I have nothing better to do. Are you sure he won’t mind me coming by?” he asked hesitantly I just rolled my eyes.

“I’m sure you are not the top of his priority list at the moment” I state, I turned on my heel and started walking toward the direction of home. I sensed him walk beside me but neither of us said a word, it was a comfortable silence and it gave my time to reel over the event that had occurred a few minutes previous. Was I doing the right thing by inviting him home? Would Peeta be mad if he found out? Should I really let Gale back into my life?

The thoughts were cut short when we walked into the lobby of our building, the warmth radiated through me and I relished in the comfort it brought. When I got closer to our door the smell of cinnamon and pastry invaded my nose and I knew Peeta’s Dad had been backing. He was just like Peeta when he was stressed he would always bake, which always turned out to be a positive for me.

I opened the door quietly and looked back at Gale while I held up my finger to my lips, we couldn’t make a lot of noise or Peeta wouldn’t sleep. Gale slipped his shoes and coat off before following me into the kitchen, I was correct as there was three trays of cheese buns and cinnamon rolls cooling. A smile spread across my face and I mouthed a thankyou as I snatched two of each and retreated to the kitchen table. Peeta’s Dad caught the eye of Gale as he sat at the table with me and he quickly filled the kettle and started making tea and hot chocolate.

Once Gale and I were settled with our drinks Peeta’s Dad decided to leave and he said he would be back the next day to make sure his fever had broken. I smiled gratefully at him as I gave him a big hug, he was like the farther I never had.

The next hours flew by as Gale and I talked adamantly about everything, I told him about how I met Peeta and how it was an instant connection. He asked many questions about Peeta’s condition and I told him as much I could. He told me about how after he left he went to boarding school and then started university. (he still left out the part of the why he left), he met a girl named Madge who seemed perfect for him but he still seemed blind to the fact she was perfect for him and was very unsure of himself.  
We talked about what we wanted to do when we finished with our studies, Gale wanted to become a personal trainer and fitness instructor. I encouraged this as Gale was always a fit person, he always wanted to run and work up a sweat so the job would’ve been perfect for him. I explained that because of Peeta I wanted to go into research of MS and other diseases associated with it, I also wanted to help those suffering with physio sessions. We managed to talk for hours and the sun had already dipped below the window, it was only then that I realised how late it was.

I was about to start to cook some dinner and maybe Gale if he wanted some as well, that was when I heard the cry. It still managed to paralyse me when I heard it, a blood chilling shriek that I felt deep in my bones. It was always one word that continued after the scream.

“KATNISS” 

Gale’s look of horror was mirroring mine but I was still stuck in place, too scared to move but when I heard the same sounds only louder It spurred me into action. I quickly rummaged through the shopping bags to find his medication and raced down the hall way, ignoring Gale’s requests to help. I tripped into Peeta’s room and the stench of sweat and vomit momentarily stalled me. The sight before my eyes broke my heart into a million pieces, Peeta’s body was lying over the edge of the bed where we had placed a bucket in case he needed to empty his stomach. Sweat was rolling off his forehead and onto the floor beside the bucket, his head lulling to side for a second before he was sick again into the bucket.

The blankets and quilts had been pushed off the end of the bed so his legs and feet were exposed, they were twitching violently as if trying to kick something off but I knew he couldn’t control these movements. His whimpering and crying and escalated to screams and yowls for help.

I moved slowly toward the bed with a small voice I tried to shush his cries, I quickly replaced the blankets over his violent body and tried to calm him down before giving him more medication. I measured out the right amount into a small cup but there was no way I could get him to drink it when he was consistently throwing up, I saw a small towel and bowl of water I assumed Peeta’s Dad had brought in. I hurriedly placed the towel into the bowl and squeezed the excess water out before climbing over Peeta’s body and settling next to him and reached over to clean his face as he continued to be face down over the bucket. His body felt like it was on fire and he was burning hot, the cold cloth was heating up just as fast, his screams and cries became louder and filled the room and I barely heard myself think

My body became pressed up against his back as he turned further away from me, more harrowing coughs and cries came and I started to panic because I couldn’t settle him. I dipped the towel into the water again and swiped it over the back of his neck and face, this seemed to earn me a satisfied sigh of relief, it was finally started to work. Soon there was nothing in Peeta’s stomach to bring up and his small whimpers and sniffles were what filled the room.

“Shhh.. Peeta it’s okay, you’re okay, I’m right here, relax” I repeated these words over and over as a chant, it almost felt like I was praying to him and he was finally responding to me. The sweat over his body seemed to form quicker than I could clean, his body was still shacking forcefully but I managed to get him to swallow his medicine without bringing it back up.

When the room was quieter I realised that Gale was still there, I whipped my head toward the direction of the door where his body slumped. His head hung and his shoulders were tense, he lifted his head to look me in the eye and I saw pity. I saw sadness and discomfort as he just witnessed a horrible scene, a lone tear slipped down his face when his eyes returned to his feet. I knew he wanted to do more to help but I knew he wouldn’t unless asked, standing in the doorway of Peeta’s he looked out of place and he knew this.

“I need to move Peeta to the shower and get him clean” I said almost too quietly and he just nodded.

“I should go” nothing.

He turned on his heel and walked away, moments later I heard the front door slam shut and I sighed heavily, all my emotions that I had bottle up came rising to the surface. I looked down at Peeta’s face and still saw the discomfort and pain he was in and I cried. I cried for his pain and how I wished I could’ve taken it away, I cried for my friend that left me all those years ago and how lonely I felt. I cried for the man I loved and the exhaustion that always followed.

My breathing became laboured as I continued to cry and scream out my frustration, Peeta opened his eyes weakly and saw my tears and he smiled. He fucking smiled. Peeta who was in a world of pain smiled when he saw me crying and that one smile gave me everything I needed, comfort, love, warmth and relief. 

I smiled back as I wiped my tears away.

Life seemed to get easier, crawling over Peeta’s worn out body and I snatched the bucket from the floor and emptied it into the toilet and cleaned it out. Once the smell had dulled I walked back into Peeta’s room and sat on the edge of his bed, he was on the edge of conscience but I needed him awake so I could shower him.

“Peeta, you need to stay awake for me because I have to shower you” I touched his shoulders gently and he groaned. “I know you don’t want to move but you need to get out of those clothes, it will make you feel better” I coaxed and this seemed to get his attention. He simply nodded and I pulled back the blankets.

His t-shirt and undershorts were soaked through with sweat that I could’ve squeezed it our like water. He hooked an arm around my shoulders and I grabbed his other hand so I distributed his weight evenly, his weak legs kept tripping on mine but we managed to make it to the bathroom. We had recently installed a seat along the edge of the shower so Peeta could sit in the shower, in moments like those it became very useful.

I stripped Peeta of his clothes and I shed mine as well while the water heated up, we had passed the embarrassed stage as showering wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. Stepping under the spray of the water seemed to wash away all my worries, the heat became a blanket that surrounded me but the feeling was short lived when I realised the reason I was in there. I turned to face Peeta who was seated and his body convulsing with coughing, luckily the vomiting had stopped.

I knelt down to I was eye level Peeta, his tired and weary eyes opened slowly and I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep conscience for much longer. Once lathering his body in soap and scrubbing from head to toe, paying close attention to his legs which relaxed them further.

New clothing and new bed sheets were arranged and soon enough Peeta was curled underneath the blankets, hot water bottles and electric blanket were set up to keep his leg as comfortable as possible. I turned toward the door after everything was in place but a firm hand grabbed my wrist.

“D-d-don’t go” pleading eyes bore into mine and I nearly fell for them but I had enough experience to know what he was doing.

“I’m sorry Peet, I haven’t had anything to eat since this morning and you need to rest” I said as sweetly as possible and gave a lingering kiss to his now clean forehead. His hand slipped from mine and he was asleep before I reached the door.  
His fever broke that night, it was the biggest relief to know he was getting better and it was nothing but smooth sailing from there, or so I thought.

The days that followed my meeting with Gale where slow and exhausting, Peeta became better each day and his spirits were up more than usual. He didn’t know that Gale had been present that day and I didn’t know whether to tell him or not, I didn’t like keeping things from Peeta but when it came to Gale I knew he would’ve lost his shit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was 2 days from Christmas when I saw Gale again, Peeta had recovered from his flu and was busy at home with wrapping my presents (he had forced me out the door with nothing but my coat and shoes), I wandered around town while I thought of something to do while I gave Peeta some time.

The thought suddenly popped into my head that I should see Prim, I hadn’t talked to her much because of everything with Peeta and Christmas was always a stressful time for me but I missed my baby sister and I got excited when their house came into view. I realised then that Gale was staying with Prim and Rory and that sent a mixture of different emotion coursing through me but I pushed them down so I was happy for Prim.

Knocking on the door of their small town house was nerve raking, hearing foots steps come closer to the door I knew they weren’t prim’s so they were either Rory’s or Gale’s. When the door swung open a burst of hot air hit my face and radiated through my body, Rory stood at the threshold of the door. He had grown quite a number of inches over the years and was now taller than me, his tall, strong build was identical to Gale’s but his face was softer and he had bark blonde hair.

“Wow Katniss I wasn’t expecting you” he greeted me with a firm hug and a kiss on my cheek, he was always so sweet to me.

“Yeh I was just in the neighbourhood and I have time to kill, I realised that I hadn’t seen you guys in a while and I thought I should drop by”

“Well you know Prim always loves seeing you and having your girly talks” he wavers his hands in a wide gesture and stepped aside to let me in, their house was toasty and warm and the Christmas decorations littered the house. I smiled at how prim was always so organised when it came to decorating.

“Rory who was at the do-“ Prim was cut short when she rounded the corner of the kitchen and saw me standing there. Her face split into a mischievous smile as she ran up to me and threw her arms around my shoulders while squealing.

We all slipped into an easy conversation with steaming cups of hot chocolate, Gale came down shortly after I arrived and he was reserved and quiet while I talked to Prim. He kept looking at me in a funny way which made me feel more uncomfortable as the afternoon wore on, eventually Prim and Rory had to go do more shopping and left Gale and I to ourselves.

“How’s Peeta?” he asked quietly as we settled ourselves on the couch, the fireplace blazing and filled the room with warmth.

“Much better now thanks” I smiled at him but he didn’t return it.

The silence stretched on and I couldn’t take the look he was giving me any longer and I snapped.

“What’s with the look?” I asked as I tried not to sound to bitter.

He sighed heavily and ran a hand down his face in exhaustion.

“Do you really go through all that every time he’s sick?” I was taken aback by the question, why would he want know something like that?

“Yes, I guess I do but he doesn’t get sick very often thankfully” I answered honestly but his expression didn’t change.

“how do you do it? The screaming and crying I experienced was too much, how do you cope with him on your own? I’m sorry Katniss but what I saw the other day was frightening and scary so tell me! How do you do it?” his word hit home, I realised that every moment that Peeta is in pain I’m in pain. I never thought about coping with the fear and I always focussed on the healing.

“I don’t know. We get through one day at a time, sure the screams of pain are frightening and it shatters my heart every time I hear him like that but it’s not all doom and gloom. We focus and think about the good things we have, food, TV, anything to keep our minds occupied. I’m sorry you had to see what you did the other day but I wouldn’t trade a single thing in this world for one moment with Peeta” my heart was pounding hard against my ribs and I could hear it in my ears. What I said came from the bottom of my heart and I had never told anyone those things and it felt better to talk about it.

Gale’s face softened as he shuffled closer to me on the couch so he could hold my hand, the warmth spreading up my arm was comforting and I felt like I wanted to curl up in a ball next to him. His hand came up to my face and brushed over my cheek which I realised was wet, I had been crying but I didn’t bother to pretend to be alright.

The next thing I knew my face was buried into the crook of Gale’s neck, I had fisted his shirt in my hands as the flow of tears became stronger. His strong arms snaked around my body and pulled me flush against him and I felt like I was in a cocoon of safety. It was the first time in years that I felt I could let all my emotions flow, all the pain, sadness, exhaustion, happiness, confusion and rage surfaced.

I cried in the comfort of Gale, my long lost friend who left me all those years ago but I never stopped loving him and he was in my life again I lost myself in his embrace. I never realised how draining looking after Peeta had become, I always put on a smile or laughed even when I didn’t want to because I had to, for Peeta.

But with Gale I could let that all out, he was there when my Father died and held me for hours until I cried myself dry.   
After I had settled down enough to stop crying I lifted myself off Gale to look at him, his features soft and comforting.  
“Thank you” I whispered as I wiped the dry tears from my cheeks, feeling tired all of a sudden.

“Any time, now lets get you home so Peeta doesn’t get worried” I realised that Gale had said Peeta’s name without any emotion or hatred, I wondered if he even liked Peeta but I didn’t want to ask.

The drive home was silent but I just looked out the window and enjoyed the ride, the snow was coming down heavy around the car and made blankets of white around the road. We drove slowly as the road became slippery but I barely noticed when Gale turned into the driveway of our apartment. I made no move to leave or get out of the car and we sat in silence, eventually Gale became fidgety and kept shifting in his seat.

I turned to look at him, his face was scrunched in concentration maybe even frustration but I couldn’t tell but something was bothering him. 

“Kat, would you... maybe we... what I’m trying to say...” he became very nervous and I started to worry about what he was going to say. “would you like to go out with me sometime?” and there it was, the big question that I knew would come someday but it seemed my mind went blank for an answer.

I loved Gale but only as a friend and I didn’t want to hurt him, I loved Peeta too much to put him through that. Even though Peeta and I weren’t dating or a couple we knew without words that we were going to end up together and we were taking our time.

“I’m sorry Gale, but it’s Peeta” his face fell but not with sadness but understanding 

“It’s always going to be Peeta isn’t it?” he asked quietly

“Yes” I replied

Before I could reject Gale leaned forward and touched his lips to mine, a simple and short kiss. His lips were soft and pleasant against mine but they were nothing like Peeta’s, he pulled back slightly but still close enough to feel his breath on my cheek. His eyes bore into mine and it told me his unspoken love for me but I saw that he accepted that I had chosen Peeta and he was happy for me.

I climbed out of the car with a new sense of calm and I smiled for the first time in a long time, my smile reached my eyes and Gale was the one that put it there. I turned and waved at him as he pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. the next time I saw him was when I reached my lowest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Christmas came fast, the festivities of the day lifted everyone’s mood, Peeta was even happy and laughing with everyone else. Finnick, Joanna, Annie, Rory and Prim decided to invite us for Christmas lunch at Prim’s,(Gale spent the day with Madge) we didn’t need to be at Prim’s until 12 so Peeta and I had our own little Christmas moment in the morning.

When I woke that morning I walked into the lounge room where the tree was lighting up the room, Peeta sat on the couch where he usually sat, only wearing his sleep shorts and staring out the window. I decided not to tell him I was there, but instead I walked over to him silently and grabbed his face in my hands. Standing in front of him and looking down into his baby blue eyes made my heart melt.

I leaned down until forced my lips to his, his lips slightly chapped but soft around the edges moved against mine, his surprised moan was muffled against my lips. The kiss became more instence as I knelt down on the couch, my knees on either side of his hips. His hands found the backs of my thighs as I straddled his lap and opened my mouth further as his tongue explored mine. My hands ran though his blonde hair and held tight onto the short hairs at the back of his neck, our bodies pressed tightly together but we soon ran out of air and had to pull away.

Our breaths mingled together as we caught our breaths, neither of us moved but Peeta held into me tighter and nuzzled his face into my neck, he left little kisses and licks that made me giggle and laugh.

“Merry Christmas Peeta” I said with a big smile spread across my face, his head lifted so he looked up at me.

“M-merry Christmas” he leaned up to press his lips to mine again but that time the kiss was slow and sensual as we explored each other’s mouths and bodies. Eventually we broke apart to have breakfast and open our presents, Peeta had made cheese buns for me and we ate them for breakfast in front on the tree.

Peeta insisted on giving me the first present and his smile increased when he passed me a large square parcel, it was wrapped in forest green wrapping paper and a blue ribbon that resembled his eyes. He watched me closely as I peeled the wrapping away and I was met with a shiny black folder, the title read ‘together with our love’.

I looked up at Peeta before slowly opening the book, I was met with a beautiful image of the two of us lying in the park during the summer. Our smiles bright and happy, Peeta had centred the photo and smaller photos of the same day scattered around it.  
As I flipped through the photo album I saw more photos that I never knew taken, there were photos of us curled up on the couch together, Peeta teaching me to bake and kneading dough on the island counter. I assumed most of them were taken by Peeta’s Dad.

The album was full and when I got near the end of the pages I saw pictures of when Peeta was in hospital. There were pictures of me asleep by Peeta’s side as he lay pale on the bed, but the one picture that made tears jumps to my eyes was the one where we had fallen asleep together in the bed, his arms wrapped around my body and the comfort was shown through our sleeping faces.

I looked up at Peeta as tears fell down my face, his eyes were glassy with tears too and I knew it must’ve been difficult to go through all those photos but he had a small smile and I knew he was crying of happiness. The last photo on the last page was on our graduation of high school, he wore a grey suit and blue tie. He looked handsome and we both smiled toward the camera but he wasn’t looking at the camera, he was looking at me.

I never knew he had this photo, the love in his eyes came through and my heart beat faster the more I looked at the photo. I closed the book carefully and hugged it tight to my body, I was at a loss of words as that was the best present I had ever received.

“Peeta... it’s beautiful... I can’t... I love it” I stammered as tried to wipe the tears away but Peeta beat me to it, his warm hand against was comforting on the cheek and I saw in his face that I didn’t need to say anything, he already knew.

The rest of the morning went by quickly, I got ‘Thor’ the movie to prove a point the Chris Hemsworth was better actor. It was funny because I got season one of ‘Supernatural’ because of Jensen Ackles. I gave Peeta a nice shirt and tie, a new wallet and more cooking appliances he wanted.

I also got a bow and arrow necklace that I had pointed out a few weeks previous, some books and ugg boots. We got dressed and Peeta wore his new clothes and wore a new green dress while some nice 6 inch heels which I hurt to walk in but they were nice.

At 12 Finnick pulled into the driveway and I helped Peeta into the car as his legs were being painful that day. We arrived at Prim’s a few minutes later and we all greeted each other and the festivities were under way. We gave everyone their gifts and they thanked us, there was a roast and vegetables served and then pudding for desert. By the end of the night we had full bellies and shared funny stories, the group laughed and drank and we all wore smiles. 

I sat next to Peeta all day but when it was nearing 9 o’clock he was being very quiet and became pale. I decided then that it was time to go home, but before I said anything I needed to make sure he was okay.

“Hey Peeta, you okay” I leaned closer to him and whispered but he just shook his head and clenched his hands in his lap. Worry replaced everything in my body and turned fully toward him.

“Peeta what is it? Is it your legs? Do you think you’re going to be alright to get home?” his eyes screwed shut in pain and his hand went toward his chest as he clutched his shirt. His other hand grabbed mine in a painful grip and my worry turned into panic.

“H-h-home!” was all he said I raced into action.

“Finnick I’m taking your car, Peeta isn’t feeling well so just come pick it up tomorrow.” He was about to object but he looked over at Peeta and saw his pale face and shaking form.

“Yeh okay, I had too much to drink anyway so drive safe” he replied, I went toward Peat to help him to the car but Finnick offered to help and practically carried Peeta out.

I said my goodbyes and drove home, I consistently looked over at Peeta to make sure he was okay but he became paler and twitched more violently.

Once we reached home I helped Peeta into the apartment but we only managed to get a couple of feet into the room before Peeta’s legs gave out. He went crashing to the floor and dragged me with him, his breaths were laboured and rushed, I began to panic.

“Peeta stay awake! Peeta are you okay, please talk to me” he was unresponsive and I continued to say his name but his eyes had rolled to the back of his head and his body convulsed and squirmed as if being electrocuted. He was hardly breathing but the time I reached for my phone and dialled for an ambulance.

“Peeta” was all I could say.


	5. I hear bells

Katniss POV

The minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like days, time slowed down and all I could think about was Peeta. The minute he collapsed on the floor I knew something horrible had gone wrong, I should’ve seen it before, picked up the symptoms before he got worse. Blaming myself was the only explanation I could give, I should have noticed at the party that something was wrong, when he went pale white and his speech became non-existent, I should have picked it up when he clutched his chest and started breathing erratically. I should’ve known.

The world around me slowed as I sat in the waiting room of the hospital, a slowly cooling hot chocolate ,that one of the nurses gave me, in my hands. My distress and panic became too much for the doctors and nurses and I was ushered out of the room where Peeta was being treated. Once I had called an Ambulance all I could do was cry, I didn’t know what was happening to Peeta, his breathing was shallow and light, his chest wasn’t rising.

I put my ear to his chest to hear his usually steady heartbeat but instead I heard silence, no rhythm or beat, just dead silence. I screamed to fill the silence, the thought of burying my best friend was too painful, I started hitting and shaking Peeta so he would wake up and tell me that it was all a bad dream... but he never did.

The front door had slammed open when I didn’t answer the knocks, two paramedics raced into the room with bags and machines slung over their shoulders. They pushed me out of the way but my protests were cut short when one of the Paramedics announced that there was no sign of life, no heartbeat, no breathing.

Icy fear ran down my spine and my body froze up, he couldn’t be dead, he had to wake up and comfort me. I crawled backward on the ground so I was out of the way so the paramedics could bring Peeta back to me, but I couldn’t look. I backed up until my spine hit something solid but I didn’t look to see what it was, I just curled myself in a ball and hid my face as I cried.

I heard them charge the defibrillator and press it against Peeta’s chest, there was a beat of silence as everyone listened out for the familiar beeping of the machine but there was just silence. When I heard them charging up for another shock I blocked my ears so I didn’t have to endure anymore. A few minutes passed and they were still unsuccessful and my hope was slowly slipping, I heard someone call my name and for a second I thought it was Peeta but when I looked up I saw Gale. His face devoid of any emotion and his skin had gone ghostly white, he looked at the scene in front of him and then at my stiff body. 

He raced over to my side on the floor and wrapped his body around mine, shielding me from the scene in front of my eyes.

“Katniss look at me!” Gale grabbed my face in his hands and made me look at him, I was sure my face a wreck from crying but I didn’t care. “Katniss you have to tell me what happened!”

My breathing was laboured as I tried to gulp in air, I kept hiccupping as I attempted to speak but the words were lodged in my throat. The words were swimming in my mind but I couldn’t get them out for the fear of them being true.

“Deep breaths, that’s it just keep breathing, it’s okay Katniss everything’s going to fine” Gale kept telling me in a hushed whisper as he continued to hold me.

I finally settled myself down enough to speak but I ignored Gale’s earlier question and instead asked the question that had been nagging me for a few minutes.

“Is he alive? Tell me Gale, please tell me he’s alive” my eyes were pleading to Gale and fresh tears slipped down my cheeks, I held Gale’s grey eyes until he let out shaky breath and looked behind his shoulder, I knew he didn’t want to look because he didn’t want to tell me the worst news.

His head turned back toward mine but I couldn’t read his face, he looked down at me with pitiful eyes and for a split second I thought he was going to tell me what I dreaded to hear.

“He’s okay for now, they got his heart beating and he’s breathing on his own but it’s not looking good Katniss” he said in a quiet voice but I was enough to relax some of my muscles, I let out a breath and stayed in Gale’s arms.

Once Peeta was stable, he was wheeled into the ambulance and I climbed in with him, my whole body shaking as I took Peeta’s hand. His skin was cold and dead against mine but I didn’t care. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed his fingers, he didn’t respond. 

“Katniss?” I snapped my head up from staring at my hot chocolate and saw Finnick’s grim face, behind him stood Annie, Prim, Rory, Gale and Joanna. Finnick opened his arms as an invitation and I immediately put down my cold drink and ran into his arms, I felt a few drops of water fall onto my head and looked up to see Finnick was crying. A fresh wave of pain and grief washed through me because I had never seen Finnick cry, for him to cry over Peeta warmed my heart.

“Thank you for coming” I said in a small voice and I felt him tighten his arm around me, a second later I felt five more pairs of arms circle around us. We stayed in a group hug until someone cleared their throat behind us.

I turned around to see Peeta’s doctor standing awkwardly with a grim expression, panic and fear latched onto my heart as I disentangled myself from the others and walked toward the doctor.

“Are you Miss Everdeen?” he asked in a professional voice.

I nodded and he motioned to follow him, I looked back at the others with a sorry expression as they wished me a silent good luck. The doctor paused halfway down the hallway and opened his folder and leafed through some of papers before looking at me once again.

“You’re probably wondering what happened?” he started but didn’t wait for my answer and continued on, “in simple words the muscles around his heart seized up, this caused cardiac arrest and blood clots. His heart tried to start pumping blood again but the MS paralysed his heart and al the muscles around it” his facts were making me nauseous and I gripped the wall for support.  
“Will he live?” I asked in a scared tone, looking down at my feet as I waited for the inevitable.

“Yes,” he said blankly “but only just, he suffered heart failure and a multiple other things while his heart wasn’t working so I’m keeping him here for a few weeks but he should pull through fine”.

For the first time since Peeta collapsed on the floor I started to breathe, the stress and nerves that wound my body as tight as a bow suddenly released. The weight on my shoulders lifted as I slumped against the wall and closed my eyes, I relished in the feeling before I went to Peeta’s room.

After the doctor left I gathered up enough courage to go and see Peeta, I started walking toward his room but I heard someone call my name from down the hall. I turned around to find Peeta’s Dad looking flushed and tired, his eyes were red rimmed and glassy as he tried to hold back the tears. I smiled at him as he got closer to me and he took that as a good sign because the next thing I knew I was enveloped in a tight hug which I embraced and relished in.

After I had told him what the doctor had told me he looked sad but happier than when he came in, he released a long breath as he ran a hand through his bed hair. The motion looking familiar as I saw Peeta do it many times when he was stressed or tired. A few seconds of silence passed before Peeta’s Dad spoke up.

“Do you mind if I go and visit him first? Alone?” he suddenly looked shy but I just nodded my head and gave a weak smile.  
I finally made it back toward the waiting room where everyone was splayed around the chairs, half of them asleep or playing on their phones. I told them all the news about Peeta and they all had relieved expressions but none of them moved to go home, they wanted to see Peeta before they left.

Once Peeta’s Dad returned he had fresh tears in his eyes but they were tears of happiness, joy and relief. He hugged me tight once more before leaving the rest of us to visit Peeta. 

It was 2am on Boxing Day, no one had gotten any sleep but we all walked into Peeta’s room with tired but happy expressions, Peeta wasn’t out of the dark but we were happy that we weren’t saying goodbye.

I prepared myself for what I was about to face, the room already smelt funny with disinfectant. Too many things beeped, buzzed and whooshed for my liking, the room was too noisy I was surprised Peeta was still asleep. His fragile form lay in the middle of the bed with the sheets tucked neatly under his arms, tubes and needles littered his upper body. He had a drip in each hand, different coloured wires and tubes twisted above his pillow and snaked down under his gown.

He had a small tube under his nose so he could breathe, his lips looked blue but some of the colour in his face had returned.  
“I’ll grab more chairs” Finnick announced and walked out of the room, less than a minute passed before he walked back in with 4 more chairs.

We settled ourselves around Peeta’s bed and talked quietly among ourselves, we had been discussing when Finnick accidently thought a male body guard was female, we heard a quiet reply,

“If I r-remem-mber c-corectly... he t-tried to p-punch you” we all turned around in unison to see Peeta’s blue eyes flutter open and a small smile pull on his lips from the nostalgia. We all laughed and I reached for Peeta’s hand to squeezed it reassuringly.

“If I remember correctly I dodged the punch like a ninja” Finnick retorted with a wide smile that lit up the whole room. We soon fell into easy conversation and Peeta joined in quite often, always with a small opinion or comment but it made my heart race every time he spoke because I realised that I could’ve never heard his voice again.

After an hour the group became restless and tired so I shooed them away and promised to call them the next day, Prim was the last to leave and when she said goodbye she had a knowing smile on her face, this told me she knew something I didn’t but I shrugged it off because I was too tired to ask.

I walked back into the room and the silence was comfortable, walked up to Peeta’s bed and gripped his hands once more. He was more awake than before and I had a suspicion that it had something to do with Prim’s weird mood. 

We sat in silence for a few moments, just looking at each other when Peeta brought up his other hand and placed it over mine, his smile bright and happy despite the events that happened that night. 

“You love me... K-katniss, real or... Not r-real?” he asked with a hoarse voice, eyes gleaming with unshed tears, I suddenly felt my heart skip a beat as I didn’t know where this conversation was going. 

“Real” I said confidently but my eyes betrayed my fears.

“I h-have loved y-you... since the m-moment you c-caught m-me in your a-arms, you... t-treated me like a n-normal p-person and i... I h-have never th-thanked you f-for that.” His words sent many emotions through me, I didn’t know why he was saying those things but they made me happy to hear that he loved me, (even though I already knew).

“You don’t have to thank me, the pleasure was all mine” I replied with a warm smile. He smiled back.

“Then K-Katniss... Everdeen w-would you d-do me the h-honour of becoming... my w-wife? W-would you... be my s-star in the n-night sky? Will you... s-stay with m-me forever until our fl-flames no l-longer burn?” my heart stopped beating!

Was he really proposing to me? My hand flew to my mouth as I tried to cover my shock but the tears in my eyes and on my cheeks showed everything. Peeta wanted to marry me and I was overcome with so much emotion that I lost my words.

I watched Peeta as he reached under the blanket on the other side of his bed and pulled out a ring, the dimmed light in the room reflected the diamonds perfectly. It was simple white gold band, two small crystals sat next to a bigger diamond, the two small crystals were the same blue as Peeta’s eyes and the colours that reflected off the big diamond were breathtaking.

When Peeta stretched out the ring to me a gasped in surprise at the sheer beauty of the ring, I didn’t like jewellery because it was annoying and heavy but that ring was magnificent.

“Yes” I breathed out before sniffing as more tears tracked down my face but I didn’t care, it was the happiest moment of my life. Peeta was alive and breathing, he was my fiancé and I loved him with every ounce of my being. Peeta stumbled into my life without intention or purpose but he managed to steal my heart the moment he got a chance.

Before Peeta I didn’t know what I wanted from life, after my Dad died I was lost and confused and didn’t know what to do with myself but Peeta, Peeta gave me something to focus on. He was my solution and I fell for him faster than he could say my name.  
Peeta reached out and took my left hand, he raised the ring and gently slid it on, not before I saw small words engraved on the inside of the ring, 

‘Always and forever’

The ring slid into place perfectly, it was flawless and I let out a little laugh as I looked down at it. The past few minutes turned my world upside down and it was hard to believe that I was going to marry Peeta. A thought suddenly popped into my head, how did he get the ring?

“Peeta how did you get the ring?” I asked in a shaky voice as my emotions tried to settle down.

“My D-dad had it w-with him... and h-he g-gave it to me when he came in” Peeta ducked his head in embarrassment as a blush crept onto his face. This meant that he had already bought the ring and he was going to propose anyway. 

I leant down and pressed my lip to his, our lips sealed shut as I savoured the moment, the feel of his lips against mine. Peeta’s lips were slightly chapped but they felt nice... no they felt right against mine, we moved in unison as I slipped my tongue into his mouth. We continued to kiss until we ran out of breath, as I slowly pulled back I pecked his lips one more time before leaning back in my chair once again.

Hours passed and he chatted for a while, apparently he asked Prim if he could marry me (because I didn’t have a Dad) and that’s why Prim had such a happy look on her face. We continued to talk until Peeta’s eyes began to drift close and his body became limp.

I quietly slipped under the blankets next to Peeta and curled his arms around my waist, I felt secure and happy to be next to Peeta. 

My fiancé.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peeta POV

My heart still hurt, it ached and pounded against my ribs but it was a good sort of ache. Katniss was the only girl that made me feel that way, the way she looked at me when she said ‘yes’. When she sat by my bed side and kissed me senseless when I slid the ring onto her finger and made her my fiancé.

I was now standing at the top of the altar, clutching a small walking stick so it would hide my shaking hand, to say I was nervous was an understatement. I had waited my entire life for that moment, that moment when I looked up and saw the most angelic woman walk toward me covered in white.

It had only been 3 months since my collapse on the floor on Christmas night, I was still weak and sick but I was recovering slowly. The thing that kept me fighting was the thought of marring Katniss; I was on a shitload of medication so I could stand by myself at the altar and so my heart wouldn’t get too excited. I went through weeks of physical therapy to get my legs working and functioning properly, Katniss was there every session and stayed every night at the hospital until I was allowed home.  
Once we broke the news to everyone that we were getting married we dived in and got organised for the wedding. I wanted to marry Katniss as soon I could because I had no idea when I was going to have my next attack or how long I had left to live so I wanted her to be my wife as quickly as possible.

We devoted all our free time to planning the wedding; it was going to be a small wedding, just close family and friends. Prim was the Maid of Honour and Finnick was my Best man, they were very happy to be a part of our wedding and Katniss, Prim and Annie became a squealing mess when they talked about it. We set a date for late march when the weather became warmer and everything fell into place after that, Dad said he was very excited and told me that my Mother was coming which had surprised me, I didn’t think she cared.

We organised the ceremony to be in a small chapel just outside of town, it was situated next to a lake that brought Katniss closer to her Dad. Everything was organised a week before the wedding, we decided not to have a honeymoon and we would wait until we finished our Uni degrees before going away. 

A week before the wedding Katniss was lying on the lounge with me while she massage my legs and feet which couldn’t stop twitching, It suddenly occurred to me that we were about to get married and we hadn’t really had sex or done anything like that. I suddenly got very nervous as I was probably going to be shit in bed.

Katniss noticed my stiffness and raised a brow in question, I was never shy around Katniss but when it came to the topic of sex I became very nervous.

“W-w-what’s.... what’s going to h-happen on our... w-wedding n-night?” I looked down at my hands as I felt a blush creep up my face but Katniss’s voice soothed me.

“What do you want to happen?” she was caught off guard, but only shrugged.

“I’m s-scared... that I’ll b-be shit” I replied but held her gaze. Her mouth twitched up in a smirk as her hands travelled further up my legs than I expected, I gave a little jump as her nails raked down my legs again.

“If you’re worried about getting aroused don’t worry, I’m sure I can seduce you enough” she through a wink at me before continuing, “You won’t be shit because I don’t care, I love you Peeta and that’s all that counts for me, we can do as much or as less as you want, okay?”

I nodded and leaned into to kiss her, the kiss was soft and sweet just how I liked it. The taste of honey and mint toothpaste stuck to her mouth and I devoured it.

Those were the last worries I had before our wedding, everything was in place and we were getting more excited and restless as the date got nearer and nearer. The night before our wedding finally rolled around, we were separated after much arguing. I was sent to Finnick’s house and Katniss stayed at Annie’s house while they got her ready, Finnick knew how to handle my MS and made sure I was okay to go ahead with the wedding.

I didn’t sleep the night before our wedding, the excitement became too much so I ended up spending most of the night reading over my wedding vows until it sounded perfect.

Now I stood waiting at the other end of the chapel for my soon wife to be, there was a quiet murmur through the audience as we waited for the ceremony to begin. The crowd consisted of our group of friends, Joanna, Gale, Madge (who was Gale’s date), Annie, Rory and the Gale’s parents. There was my family who consisted of my Mum and Dad, a few aunties and uncles as well as Katniss’s mother who sat quietly by herself. It was a small gathering and it was all I ever dreamed of.

Suddenly the doors at the back of the chapel opened, as the sun light poured through the doors, a woman as beautiful as the sun stood there. She looked like an angel with the way the light shone, her dress was flowing beneath her feet and made her look like she was floating. The dress hugged every curve and perfection Katniss had, it flowed from the waist down and had sequins and pearls scattered around it.

The dress had one strap that curved around her back, it showed much of her sun kissed skin and made her look perfect. She held a bundle of dandelions which she knew was my favourite and I smiled widely as the gesture. I realised in that moment that I wasn’t shaking, my legs became numb and I felt no pain in my body. I was free from all the torment and pain for a few moments and in those moments I realised that Katniss was the only drug I needed.

Katniss was my Angel in hell. 

Katniss had saved and rescued me from my own body which I had been a prison of for so many years and that was more than I could have ever asked for.

Tears stung my eyes as I looked at her, her chocolate coloured hair fell in ringlets and curls over her shoulder and down her back. When she got close enough I could see her silver eyes gleamed with unshed tears and I knew she felt the same way as I did. Pure love and affection flowed through her eyes and I wanted to get down on my knees and praise her beauty.

Katniss slowly climbed the few stairs so she stood in front of me on the altar, Prim followed behind her, she stood at her side and took her bouquet so my wife to be could take my hands. I passed Finnick my walking stick and took Katniss’ hands in mine which grounded me and I knew I didn’t need a walking stick any longer, I had Katniss.

The ceremony went quickly and no one could wipe the grins off our faces, we were happy and no one could take that away from us. It finally came to the saying of our vows and I let Katniss go first.

“Peeta... there are not words to describe how much you mean to me, you stumbled into my life, literally. You were alone in the world and so was I, my heart found yours as if they were magnets. Call it fate or destiny I don’t care, whatever brought you to me was a gift, we battled through the tough and the tougher...” she paused to collect her emotions and wiped the tears that escaped. “You lifted me... not just physically but mentally, you made me see a new angle on life, you taught me to be free. Today I’m repaying you by setting our hearts free, I’m repaying you by accepting to spend every minute of my life with you and love you with all my heart...

“I love you Peeta Mellark and nothing on earth can change my mind, you are my heart and soul who can never cease to amaze me... I Katniss Mellark vow to hold you until our dying breaths”

My jaw dropped open at her speech, tears streamed down both our faces as I stared at her in awe. The chapel around us had faded away and all I could see was her, my wife.

A cough behind me broke the spell and reminded me that I needed to speak, the weeks leading up to the wedding I had practised my speech so I didn’t stutter during my vows so I prayed my voice didn’t betray me.

“Katniss Everdeen... you are my light and my world, you caught me before I could fall into darkness. You are My Angel who has always watched over me, you carried me through blood, sweat and tears... you made me smile and laugh when my pain was at its worst but you made it all worth it by agreeing to be my wife...  
I have seen your heart grow and love more each day, you never gave up on me when the rest of the world was against us. You never let me down and you always kept your promises so this is a promise I’ll keep...” my voice broke as the emotion stirred inside me but I kept it hidden until I was finished speaking. “I promise from the bottom of my heart that I will love and protect you throughout all my days until my last, I will be your Angel to watch over you and together we can let our hearts be free..... 

Always and forever”

The world around us was dead silent, I could hear people in the audience sniff and hide the tears but the only person I took notice of was Katniss.

Steady tears flowed down her flawless cheeks, shock was evident on her face as she didn’t expect me to say my whole speech without stuttering, pure joy and love was written all over her face when she mouthed ‘I love you’.

We both took turns at placing our rings on, by that point we were both shaking with emotion and it took a few attempts to get the rings on. Once everything was finalised we finally heard the words ‘You may now kiss the bride’, I didn’t waste any time when I gripped Katniss’ waist and pulled her flush against me. Our lips were a hair width apart when she closed the distance, our first kiss as husband and wife made my already weak knees even weaker. Her scent and taste overwhelmed me to my core, our lips moved together as one and the warmth spread through both of us.

Katniss pulled away with one final lick of my lips and grinned up at me, her lips a little puffy but I just grinned back at her. I slipped my hand into hers and turned toward the audience, most people had tears in their eyes and I was proud that we had caused that. Everyone stood and clapped at us as we walked slowly toward the doors at the end of the chapel, I took my walking stick from Finnick anyway because I was more confident with it.

Everyone threw white rose petals over us as we stumbled out of the chapel with gleeful laughs and smiles that went from ear to ear.

The rest of day went perfectly, I never let go of Katniss’ hand as we went through the photos by the lake. We finally ended up at the reception at a nice hotel where dinner was served and we cut the cake, it was the perfect day and the happiest day of my life. I was finally with the one I loved so much and she stood next to me...

Katniss Mellark!

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Katniss POV

Peeta gripped my hand tightly as we made our way toward our hotel room. I felt Peeta shaking and sweating next to me but I just smiled widely at him to hide my own nerves. Surprisingly I was a virgin, I was in the same place as Peeta despite that fact I knew I few things that he didn’t.

The reception seemed to drag on and I started to get antsy, scenes kept running through my mind of all the ways we could make love, I was getting hot and bothered. Peeta noticed my discomfort and asked if I wanted to go to our hotel room, I nodded eagerly but the nerves still caught up with me. 

We said our goodbyes to everyone and made our way toward our honeymoon suite, we walked into the room and I was taken aback by how the room was set up. Scented candles littered the room and created a dim lighting, instead of rose petals there were dandelions all over the room. The dandelions were like mini suns as they shone next to the candles, I turned toward Peeta who had the same expression as I did.

I closed the door and locked it so we weren’t disturbed by anyone, the giant king size bed looked like heaven as I slipped off my shoes, rubbing the sore spots. I turned to Peeta with a small smile as he stood awkwardly by the door, he looked so innocent standing by himself it made my heart melt.

I walked the few steps toward Peeta and slipped my arms around his waist and pulling him flush against me. I knew Peeta was nervous and I wanted to make our first night together as pleasurable as possible, Peeta’s legs were good during the day so I took advantage of his good health.

“I’ll only do what you want okay? Tell me if you’re uncomfortable” I whispered to Peeta before pacing small kisses along his neck and jaw, when I felt him nod in agreement I moved my lips to his. The kiss started out sweet and innocent but when Peeta pushed his tongue into my mouth the kiss became more heated, I glided my hands to the back of his neck and played with the short hairs that were there.

The slow build of passion and fire was long but beautiful, we finally broke apart to catch our breath but it didn’t last long when Peeta crashed his lips against mine again, I started walking backward toward the bed and Peeta followed without breaking the kiss. Our breaths became pants as we became more hungry for each other, I tore Peeta’s Jacket and waist coat in one quick motion and they landed somewhere on the floor. Peeta’s hands became more frantic on my body and they glided up and down my sides, he brought his hand up and tugged at the clip that kept my hair in place so my hair fell in ringlets around my shoulders.

Peeta smiled down at me then dipped his head and dragged his lips over my pulse point and nipped there, I gave a yelp as he started sucking a hickey in that spot. My yelp soon turned into a moan, his ministration were sending bolts of pleasure down south.

“Get this off” Peeta grunted and pulled at my dress. Pleasure rippled through me at the command and I quickly obeyed. I turned my back on Peeta and started undoing the buttons of my dress, Peeta was quick to assist me and a few of the buttons came off in the rush. The dress finally came free and slid down my body which sent a small chill through me, the temperature difference meant that my nipples stood to attention through my lacy bra.

Peeta’s eye roamed my body and I noticed he had too much clothes on so I started undoing his tie and dress shirt. Peeta became no help when his hands landed on my waist and started kneading the flesh there, I finally had his shirt off when I started on the buckle of his pants when he suddenly stopped me.

He looked shy and embarrassed as I removed my hands, waiting for an explanation,

“it’s not... I’m not...i” he stumbled over his words as he looked down at his crotch, I finally understood that he wasn’t getting aroused and I just smiled up at him.

“It’s okay we have plenty of time” I smiled brightly and wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him until he relaxed into the kiss. I slowly lowered my hands once again and undid his pants, letting them hit the floor but neither of us broke the kiss.

Our kisses became sloppy and messy as our passion built, my hips started moving up against Peeta’s. Although he wasn’t hard it created friction on my throbbing clit. Peeta noticed my reaction and slowly lowered me to the bed, grinding our hips in the process. I felt his dick give a little twitch at the contact and we both moaned, I threw my head back to bare my neck to Peeta.

We got more comfortable on the bed, Peeta was on his back and I was straddling his hips, I could feel he wasn’t very hard and from the look on his face he was trying hard to get it up. Peeta’s hands covered all the skin he could see, running his blunt nails on the insides of my thighs as I bit back a groan, bucking my hips in search of more. Peeta’s hand reached behind my back and fumbled with the clips of my bra, after a few minutes of grunting and swearing he finally had the contraption off and it was on the floor in seconds.

Peeta’s eyes landed on my breasts but I didn’t want to hide because he had seen me naked so many times, but something was different the way he looked at them. He looked at them knowing he was allowed to touch and feel them, I smiled down as a silent permission to touch them. Peeta’s hands sipped up my body and kneaded the flesh, my body reacted violently toward the touch, arching my back into his hands. No one had ever touched my breasts like that before and I felt amazing.

I slowly rocked myself on Peeta’s lap but his boxers and my panties were restricting so I decided they needed to be gone. I removed myself from Peeta’s lap and slipped my hand under his boxers, once I pulled them off his legs I quickly removed my panties and threw them somewhere in the room. Peeta’s face looked a little scared but I just crawled up his body and whispered,

“Let’s see if we can get this little guy to come play” I stroked his member as I said the words, I saw Peeta’s Adams apple bob as he nodded.

I climbed on top of Peeta’s lap so his shaft was directly where I wanted it to be, skin on skin. The first rub was ecstasy as he rubbed over my drenching folds and sensitive clit, I felt his limp dick perk up at the motion. Slowly but surely he started getting hard as we continued to hump against each other, Peeta bucked his hips every so often and let out quiet moans.

After a while, I noticed that he was only half up and I had wanted tonight to be one where Peeta experienced the most pleasure he had ever had so I straddled him again, my legs wrapping around his waist and my back to him. I grabbed a small bottle of lube that I had noticed earlier off the bedside table and flipped the cap, squirting a dollop of it into my palm. The label told me that it was watermelon flavoured which made me smirk. This was going to be lots of fun.

I returned the bottle to the bedside table hastily and began to rub the lotion up and down his member, slowly at first, but then picking up speed. The friction made Peeta grunt in pleasure, letting me know that he was enjoying the moment. I traced the large vein that ran along his shaft with my nails and rubbed my thumb over his slit where a few beads of pre-cum had already gathered, all the while gently blowing on his head. He shivered in response, shakes coursing through his whole body. At this point, Peeta was rock hard and the hair on his muscular arms was standing on end. I knew I had succeeded in arousing him and we both knew as we looked into each other’s eyes that we wanted more. 

Lust overwhelmed us and the air had became hot and heavy. Peeta was fully endowed and he was big, to say the least. I knew Peeta was ready because he kept pleading with me through his eyes and husky grunts. I knew we had to act now or he might’ve gotten too excited.

“You ready?” I asked as I turned around and bent down to kiss him, smiling as I reached down between our bodies and grasped his member. I gave it a few light strokes which enticed a few groans, I guided the head of his cock at my entrance.

I locked eyes with Peeta as I slowly lowered myself onto him, I felt him stretch and fill me to the brim, I was going to be sore the next morning.

Peeta’s eyes rolled shut as he let out a shaky breath to try and compose himself, I stayed still so I could accommodate his size. I felt a slow burn at my entrance but I wasn’t in pain, after a few moments I slowly rose off until only the head of cock was left inside. I then slammed back down, Peeta gasped in surprise and bucked up so I could move faster.

I smiled down at Peeta as I paced my hands on his chest and started rocking faster on him until we had a steady rhythm, a thin layer of sweat broke out between us as Peeta’s hands found my breasts. I suddenly felt his lips close around my right nipple and I gasped in surprise, Peeta’s name falling from my lips.

“Shit Katniss” Peeta grunted as he gripped my hips and started a punishing rate, our hips met roughly and the sound of slapping skin was mixed with the sounds of our moans and cries. I felt my impending orgasm boiling in my gut,

“I’m gunna.... Katniss!” Peeta shouted at me in warning but before I could respond his thumb latched onto my clit and rubbed furiously, shock waves of pleasure ran through my body as my orgasm crashed over me. I screamed Peeta’s name as I slowly came down from my high, I felt Peeta’s body stiffen as he released into me. Silent screams and pants of my name falling from his lips, I continued to thrust our bodies together until I had milked our orgasms dry.

I slowly rolled off Peeta and lay next him, my muscles sore but well fucked. We finally caught our breaths when I spoke first.

“That was... Wow!” I heard Peeta chuckle next to me, he brought an arm around me and pulled me toward his body. I rested my head on his shoulder, my eyes were falling shut as the exhaustion of the day caught up to me.

“I love you” Peeta whispered as I drifted off to sleep 

“I know” I replied, a smile planted on my face.


	6. Is this the End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Peeta's cozy life takes an unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are not words or excuses for how sorry I am about not updating this story! life always gets in the way! but here we are and this is the second last chapter! Sorry this is not a very happy chapter but i promise the next one will be more lighthearted. Don't worry there will be a Happyish ending so stayed tuned for the final chapter.
> 
> I'll leave the rest to you lovely readers! Enjoy XD

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Life became routine for us. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Peeta’s MS was always a constant static in the background but we had each other so we never went crazy. Our honeymoon was not much of a honeymoon, more a relaxing holiday at a cabin in the woods, but it was perfect. Surrounded by pine trees and birds, the weather warm and sunny. It was almost like a dream, I didn’t want to spell to be broken.

Eventually we had to get back to our jobs and study, Peeta grumbled and whined about nearly everything but I knew it was all light hearted because he would always smiled. His smile was the first thing I woke up to in the morning and the last thing I saw before I fell asleep. 

It was two months after our wedding that everything hit the fan.

It was silent when I woke up, the sun barely peaking through the curtains, I would normally have snuggled back into bed and fallen right asleep but something was off. I had a nagging suspicion that something was wrong. I tried to listen for the birds outside, the quiet sound of cars driving by, nothing. There was no noise. Just silence.

Then it hit me, Peeta was not in the bed. It was bordering 4am; he usually didn’t wake up to at least 6. A shot of adrenalin hit my chest as I rushed out of bed in search of my husband. My breathing became laboured but I hardly noticed. I raced through the tiny apartment, checking all the rooms, the bathrooms. When I finally reached the kitchen my feet stuck to the floor, all the blood that seared through my veins a moment ago suddenly turned to concrete. Peeta lay on the floor, one hand clutched to his chest, his limbs twitched slightly.

“Peeta! No!” I screamed. It was all I could think to do. I ran to his limp form on the floor and put my ear to his chest. I stopped breathing, searching frantically for a heartbeat, I single heartbeat would make everything okay.

But there was only silence.

As if a switched had been flicked, I grabbed the closest phone and called an ambulance as I started CPR. I knew the basics but my instincts were telling me that it was futile, that he wasn’t coming back to me. I harshly pushed those thoughts aside and continued to manually pump Peeta’s heart, in the fading hope that it will start on its own again. I don’t know how long I kept pumping, my arms started to tire by the time the paramedics rush through the front door. They removed me from my spot on the floor and I didn’t fight them as I slumped against the cupboards, my vision went blurry with unshed tears. My heart was slamming against my chest and my stomach swayed and rolled, threatening to empty its contents.

The paramedics immediately attached a ventilator so Peeta can breathe and then lift him onto the gurney where they started to wheel him to the ambulance. I saw his hand was free and immediately latched onto it as we exited the apartment, I quickly snatch my keys and phone on the way out. Never releasing Peeta’s unresponsive hand as we made out way to the hospital.

Five minutes later we arrived in the emergency ward and a team of doctors and nurses were dressed and ready to take control. I still hadn’t let Peeta’s hand go, I wasn’t planning on it until he was awake and smiling again. I felt a nurse pry our hands away as chaos erupts, doctors yelled for medications. I blocked everything and saw that I was no longer holding Peeta’s hand.

I began to cry and scream for Peeta, hands from every direction hold me away from the one the person I deeply love. I fight and sob, I didn’t understand why these people were so heartless, why they weren’t letting me be with him. Suddenly a pair of arms snaked around my body and lifted me up, I flailed my arms and legs, fighting with everything I had. The mystery person carried me away and I all I focused on was the blue curtain slowly blocking my view until I could no longer see Peeta. 

All my energy suddenly drained from my system and I sagged against the person holding me. 

“Shh… it’s okay, it’s okay. He’s going to pull through, he’s going to be fine. I promise” Gale’s voice was a rush of relief as I sobbed into his shoulder. Suddenly a wave of nausea hits me and the world spins for a second. I quickly detangled myself from Gale’s arms and run towards the nearest bathroom before I expelled everything from my stomach.

I groaned and I continued to heave and retch until there was nothing left to bring up. I rinsed my mouth and walked out to find Gale waiting for me.

“You okay?” he whispered but his expression told me he already knew my answer. I dragged my feet as I was led into the waiting room and a cup water was thrust into my hands. I stared into space, wanting nothing more than curling up in a ball and cry my pain away.

It was several hours later before we heard anything. I quickly got to me feet as a doctor walked up to us with a stern face, no emotions in sight. As soon as I saw him I choked back a sob and my knees went weak as I realised I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. However I had no choice in the matter as he began to speak.

“Mrs Mellark? I know this is a very difficult time for you but I need you to pay close attention to what I say. Can you do that for me?” I slid down into my chair again and stared at my hands as I nodded my head.

“He’s gone isn’t he?” my voice was barely a whisper but I didn’t need to look at the doctor to confirm my nightmare.

“I wish I could tell you good news, but this situation is a cruel thing. I will be straight with you. Peeta’s heart muscles seized which prevented it from beating. We put him on life support for now but the machine is doing all the work. I’m so very sorry Mrs Mellark, your husband is clinically dead.” My chest was hit with a hammer as he said those words. My body was sore from crying and protested as a silent sob passed my lips. Suddenly the air was too hard to breathe and everything I loved was ripped away from me.

“Mrs Mellark. Please I still need your attention. Peeta’s in a position that doesn’t come around very often and I must ask you: Have you or your husband talked about organ donation? I know this is a sensitive time for you but I need an answer soon.” My mind reeled as I considered his proposal; it wasn’t hard to work out that he wanted to end Peeta’s life support so they can use his organs.

I struggled to find my voice in-between sobs, “What about his MS? Can that be passed on?”

“No, MS is an autoimmune disease. His body was basically attacking his own nerve cells. Fortunately it cannot be passed on so it is safe to transplant his organs.” There was an awkward pause as he awaited my response. My body shook as I made my decision, my throat closing, almost like my body didn’t want to say the words.

“Okay” I squeezed out before I put a hand to my mouth, I feared I would throw up again. “But I want 24 hours. Just one more day with him” I stared into the doctor’s face, pleading with my eyes.

“I don’t see any harm in that.” He sighed before rising from his seat. “I’ll let you have one more day, I’ll come get you when we settle him into the ward” He then turned on his heel and left me alone with Gale. He looked conflicted, like he was holding something in.

“What?” I asked. My question caught him off guard as he stared into my eyes. They were sad, mournful eyes. 

“Are you sure about this? Aren’t you at least going to give him time to fight?” My heart broke all over again as I watched Gale try to comprehend the situation. Fresh tears slid down my face as answered him.

“He’s already fought Gale. Everyday he has fought this disease. I think it’s time to let him rest, to finally ease his pain. He deserves it” my throat constricted as I said those last words. Gale just nodded, accepting the truth without question.

I stood and started to walk towards the exit, Gale suddenly jumped and grabbed my arm. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Home” I breathed.

“Why? I though you wanted to see him?”

I turn to face him as I detached my arm from his grip. “I’m not ready. I need to be alone before I can say goodbye”

Gale pondered my reasoning before grunting his acceptance.

“I’ll drive you” I opened my mouth to reject his offer before I realised I didn’t actually have a way to get home. We began to walk in silence towards his car when a question pops into my head.

“Wait how did know I was here?” Gale chuckles lightly before responding;

“I went over to your place, I had planned to do things with Peeta today while you were at work. I ran into your neighbour who said you guys left in an ambulance.

I nodded my head and let silence engulf us. The ride back to the apartment is spent in comfortable silence as I stare out the window.

Gale dropped me off at the front of the building, I dismissed any thought of him coming inside, insisting I needed to be alone. I walked through the front door, closing it softly behind me before I collapsed against it, finally letting out all my anguish. My chest tightened with each breath. I stayed like that for what felt like hours, looking in every corner of the apartment for the goofy boy I married. I could smell the lingering traces of him, like fresh bread and cinnamon.

After a while, my stomach began to flip and I couldn’t figure out if it was all the stress or I was sick. I weakly stumbled to the bathroom in a hurry, vomiting the little water I drank and any bile left in my stomach. I was too exhausted to think about anything any more.

Later that evening, my stomach had settled enough so I could get myself together. I collected a few things before heading to the hospital. I had gone over in my head a hundred times what I would say to Peeta. What would my last words be to him? What were his last words to me?

I made my way towards his room with the directions of a nurse, I wandered the halls in a trance until I reached his room. Every word I had planned in my head suddenly disappeared because words were not enough for me to express how much I loved Peeta and how hard it was to say goodbye.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. I heard the rhythmic beeping before anything else. I slowly pulled the curtain back to find Peeta lying in a web of tubes and needles. My stomach flipped but I refused to be sick, not now.

His skin was pale yet his hair was golden and beautiful as ever. I reached a tentative hand out to brush his hair away from his forehead. There were many different tubes coming out of his mouth but I didn’t notice anything else in the room. I just stared at the beautiful boy I fell in love with.

My knees got too weak so I forced myself to sit down next to the bed, taking hold of his hand. I kissed it, trying to kiss the life back into his body. I didn’t even notice the tears. They had almost become natural at that point. I gathered my courage and last remains of strength as I concentrated on the words I was saying, my final words.

“Peeta…” I wasn’t going to breakdown. I was determined to do this. “Peeta. I know you can hear me, I know you would never leave me without saying goodbye. But first I must confess something to you before I loose you. It’s happy news in which I know you will love. From the minute I met you I knew you were the ‘One’ for me, although you have struggled and suffered throughout your life, you never stopped smiling and that’s what got us through the hard days. I love you Peeta…” my voice cracked as a sob forced its way out. “I love you so much and I will continue to love you. I will love you through the child I am carrying.” I looked down and my flat stomach and smiled. “I only found out a few hours ago. You have left me a gift, a piece of you that I will cherish forever. I don’t know if I can do this without you but…” I sobbed and let the tears fill my eyes. “But I know that you deserve to rest, you deserve to be at peace now and I think I can cope with letting you go if it means you are finally free from pain.” I took one last deep breath and put on a brave smile. “It’s time to go Peeta. Time for you to sleep now and remember that I will forever love you and I will see you everyday in this child, forever and always.”

I stood up and kissed his forehead, my tears flowed onto his skin as I whispered “I Love You” one last time. As if on cue the doctor walked into the room. No words were exchanged as the man began to turn off machines and taking tubes out. When Peeta’s lips were exposed I planted one final kiss, my parting gift. The doctor handed me a few forms to sign before leaving with Peeta in tow, I continued to stare at the empty space in the room. 

All I could think about was the silence. The crippling silence that mirrored my grief. I was alone until I remembered the life inside me. Maybe the silence would be worth it.


	7. There is always life after death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay my lovely readers! This is the final chapter! I would first like to say and massive THANK YOU to everyone who has read, commented, liked and pestered me to finish this story! It is a big relief to finish and I hope you all enjoyed this emotional rollercoaster!  
> As a disclaimer - I'm not and expert on Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and what happens in the story is not entirely accurate. However this is a work of fiction and I had to use what I had to continue the plot! if anyone is offended or had any question please feel free to message me or pop onto my tumblr (everlark-watches-anime.tumblr) and i will be happy to talk to! :)
> 
> Thank you everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement! I was considering starting a new story involving the the struggles Katniss goes through in raising the children! if you would like me to do this please let me know and i'll see what i can do XD
> 
> Also the song used in this is called 'Firelight' by Caligula's Horse. please check them out because they have amazing music, very powerful!
> 
> Again thank you everyone for reading! stayed tuned for more stories XD enjoy this final installment and i hope you gave you a satisfactory happy ending! 
> 
> on with the reading XD xoxoxox

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The funeral happened in the blink of an eye. I didn’t have the strength to organise anything so I passed those responsibilities over to Peeta’s Father and Gale. Breaking the news to Peeta’s father was the hardest thing I had to do. He fell apart in front of me as we both shared the same grief, he wrapped my in a big hug and for the first time since I lost Peeta, I felt safe and loved. We spent the night talking about old memories and I found that my father-in-law was stronger than he let on. When I had to leave and go back to my empty apartment his parting words stuck to me.

“You know… You were Peeta’s light. You brightened his life and I know he never regretted anything. You gave meaning to his life and I’m eternally grateful that you came into his life” He had looked down at his shoes, fresh tears had filled his eyes but he smiled. His smile was identical to Peeta’s and I could see that he was sincere. I hadn’t told him I was pregnant, it would’ve been too conflicting for his emotions.

A week passed and the day of the funeral had arrived. I was encouraged to write a eulogy but I was unsure if I could stand in front of everyone and read words on a piece of paper without breaking down or throwing up. Instead I was going to do something a little different, my own way of saying goodbye. As I arrived at the venue I saw family, friends and people I had never met. Everyone was wearing black, which set the mournful atmosphere but instead I chose to wear something a little more colour. We were celebrating Peeta’s life, not dwelling on the tragedy of his death. So I wore a burnt orange dress that ended at the knee, it was Peeta’s favourite colour and I remembered his expression when I first wore the dress, it was priceless.

I made my way inside, trying to avoid as many people as possible. As I took a seat inside the small chapel, Prim sat next to me a few moments later, looking way too grown up for my liking. I felt people starring at me but I tried to ignore them, some came up and offered condolences but I was in haze and frankly I was sick of people saying sorry. The word ‘sorry’ offered no comfort to me so I just forced a smile and said a quiet ‘Thank you’ before they left me alone. Prim however was my anchor, she didn’t speak, only took my hand and squeezed it. It was all the comfort I needed. 

The funeral celebrant made introductions and words were spoken about Peeta’s life. Most of what was said was typical words expressed at every funeral but it didn’t feel like it was meant for Peeta. It was my turn to speak and I felt my stomach churn with nausea but I willed it to settle. I walked to the front and picked up my guitar that was lying on the ground. I quickly checked to make sure it was tuned before I looked out onto the audience. 

I cleared my throat before speaking, “So… I’m not good at speeches or public speaking” there was an uncomfortable silence as I paused, nervousness was taking a hold of my body. “Instead I’ll be play you a song, I know Peeta always loved my singing so this is for him.” With that done I took a deep breath and focused on playing the song. I closed my eyes and searched through my memories so they could guide me through the song.

“The stars will fade, the sun will rise,  
But I remember you were my … Firelight.”

I thought of the first time I met Peeta, his scared face that eased when he saw me. I clung to the happy memories of watching movies and reading books.

“The lucky ones, we were born,  
We will not be here for long,  
And I’m waiting for signs of life,  
And everything is so bright.”

I remembered the first time I kissed Peeta, the first time we made love, our wedding.

“Gone with the sun, Voices as one,  
And in the moment we will carry that light on”

My voice shifted and swayed with the song, I found that my throat was not blocked or constricted with grief, I found my body responding to the music, wanting to convey all my emotions into the lyrics.

“This is for the ones who burned short, but so bright,  
And I have never been so sure of your firelight.  
How could this all end when we burn so brightly.  
Friend give me your hands, raise your voices with me”

The Final line hit me hard but I managed to let it out, like I was releasing all my grief and anguish.

“How could this all end when we burn so brightly?”

My voice wavered but stayed strong as the last notes drifted through the small room. I saw people shed tears but there was one face that I couldn’t stop looking at. Peeta’s father was smiling where he sat in the front row beside Prim. His smile seemed out of place, like it didn’t belong in a place of sorrow but it gave me strength. His smile told me that Peeta would have loved this song.

All the energy washed out of me when I finally sat down again, Prim latched on to my arm again and she whispered how amazing my singing was. The ceremony finished shortly after and I watched as Peeta’s coffin was taken away. I suddenly had the urge to fling myself at the box and never let him go. That was the point I let myself cry, I curled myself against Prim and silently sobbed as the coffin disappeared. I knew I wasn’t the only one because I heard other people around me sniffling and hiccupping. The congregation soon began to walk out after the coffin was gone, everyone slowly made their way to Peeta’s father’s bakery where the wake was held. 

As I reflected on the ceremony, a small fluttering in my heart caused a burst of warmth to travel through me and I realised that I was content with my final goodbye, I finally felt like I could come to terms with loosing Peeta. A small glimmer of hope was all I needed.

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17 years later – 

I smiled down at the big photo album in my arms as I leant against the kitchen counter, waiting for oven timer to go off. I chuckled as I found a silly photo of Peeta and I on our honeymoon, it was nostalgic looking back at old memories. I continued to fill the album book that Peeta gave me after he passed away. I filled it with baby photos, family photos and every memory I created with my beautiful family. 

It was revealed at 12 weeks into my pregnancy that was having twins. This was a big shock for me, as I didn’t even know how to handle one baby, much less two babies. Lets just say that I was scared shitless, I had many doubts about doing it alone. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to tell Peeta’s dad, when I finally did break the news to him, he almost hugged me to death. The concept that he was going to be a grandad made him very happy, but I had a suspicion that he wanted to play a big role in the twins lives so he could stay connected to Peeta, but I was glad for his support.

Throughout the pregnancy I was closely monitored to makes sure both babies were healthy, especially since I went through a traumatic experience early on in the pregnancy. I moved house not long after the funeral, I loved the little apartment but I found it too painful to stay and I needed more room to raise the twins. I moved into a decent size house with a big backyard and minimal hazards to babies. The move went smoothly as everyone came to help, including Gale. I had found out that he and Madge had gotten serious about dating and they seemed happy so I was relived they had each other.

The pregnancy was tough and long but at 34 weeks two beautiful baby boys were born. Although they were born 6 weeks early, they were very healthy and I was exhausted from 10 hours of labour. When the doctors handed them to me for the first time my heart both shattered and swelled with love. I was sad that Peeta was not there to witness the two miracles but at the same time I poured all my love into them. They were identical twins and I couldn’t wait to see what features they inherited from Peeta.

It turned out they inherited most of Peeta’s features which made me love them even more. When they turned 5 I was shocked to find they looked like miniature versions of Peeta, I was so happy I had a piece of Peeta still with me, living through his sons.

The older twin was named Caleb and his brother was named Tobias. The names suited them and they quickly became very different people as they grew older. Both boys were still identical in looks but their personalities were polar opposites. Caleb was very outgoing and loud, always enjoyed life. Tobias was more quiet and shy, preferring to read in his room than go play with friends. I found they balanced each other out.

They were both 17 now and today was the anniversary of Peeta’s passing. It still hurt but it was a dull ache and I accepted a long time ago that it would never stop hurting, but I had the twins to keep me grounded. Caleb suddenly bursts into the room, drawing me out of my daydreaming.

“What’cha looking at Mum?” I look up at him as he walks into the kitchen, his curly golden hair is damp, probably from the shower he just took.

“The photo album” I answered simply. He came up behind me and peeked over my shoulder. I forgot how tall he had grown.

“It’s the anniversary today isn’t it?” I nodded in reply as I continued to flip through the pages. A few minutes passed in silence before Tobias walked in, texting on his phone. Caleb sneaked up behind his brother and tries to snatch the phone from Tobias’s grasp.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you are doing?” Tobias shrieked as he held his phone tighter.

“Who are you texting? Is it a girrrl?” Caleb teased while still attempting to grab the phone. Tobias looked to me for help but I just raised eyebrow, telling him I couldn’t save him from Caleb’s pestering.

“No! I’m just talking a friend.” Caleb eventually gave up and walked towards the fridge, pulling out a chocolate bar. “Hey! That’s my chocolate bar! Mum! Tell him to stop eating my stuff” Now this I could deal with.

“Caleb! No eating, dinner will be served soon.” Caleb paused, about to open the bar. His confused look was almost funny, like I was stealing his teddy bear.

“Whyyyy? I’m hungry now!” Caleb whines and I saw Tobias chuckle in victory.

“Grandad is coming over for dinner so I don’t want you to spoil your appetite” As soon as I finish the sentence, both Caleb and Tobias looked at each other before yelling “Yes” and high-fiving each other. Now it was my turn to be confused. 

“Grandad always brings pastries and yummy bread from his shop. It’s soooo good, I could eat that stuff all day long.” Tobias explained with a dreamy look in his eyes.

“You’d get fat though dumbass” Caleb retorted before flashing a grin.

I chuckled and the twins joined in a second later. I turned back to the photo album as my eyes landed on a particular picture of Peeta laughing, eyes crinkled and teeth showing. I then looked back at the giggling twins as they bickered playfully. They smiled and laughed just like Peeta. I snapped out of my trance and closed the album, I put it aside so we can go threw it when grandad got here.

Peeta’s Dad (and the twins loving grandfather) was always involved in the twins’ life and he was the male role model they needed. He spoiled the twins constantly and I always appreciated his help when they were younger. Caleb and Tobias loved him very much and thus it completed our family. 

“Okay boys, enough banter. Caleb can you please clear the table and set it? Tobias can you organise drinks for everyone. Granddad will be here any minute now!” Caleb and Tobias looked at each before groaning and dragging their feet, not wanting to do chores. I simply smiled and shooed them along. 

Both boys raced up the stairs to their bedrooms to change before doing as I asked. I watched them wrestle playfully and it still shocked me how similar they were to Peeta and I knew he would’ve loved them to pieces. Peeta gave me these two beautiful gifts that I would tressure them forever. But for today, we celebrated Peeta’s life, and even though Caleb and Tobias had never met him, they still loved him through the stories and memories I told.

Peeta will always be with me and our sons.

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr! ask me anything or send me love? 
> 
> everlark-watches-anime.tumblr


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